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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below provides statistics on several major metro (MRT) systems around the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below provides statistics on several major metro (MRT) systems around the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table above illustrates in-depth information about different metro systems in main cities across the globe.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the year each of them was completed varies, most of them were completed in the 1900s
while
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 Los Angeles finished in 2001 and London is the oldest it finished in 1863
as well as
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 Paris which finished in 1890. As for the total
length
Use synonyms
 the longest is London with 1100
KM
Use synonyms
then
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 Paris and the others are in the 100s and 10s KMs,
on the other hand
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, the city that has the most carrying
capacity
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 is Tokyo with 1434
million
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, even though London is
longest
Correct article usage
the longest
show examples
 in
length
Use synonyms
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is not the highest in carrying
capacity
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, it comes in third with 548
million
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. Tokyo with only a
length
Use synonyms
 of 149
KM
Use synonyms
 has the highest carrying
capactiy
Correct your spelling
capacity
 of 1434
million
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 Paris comes in second with 850
million
Use synonyms
 and a
length
Use synonyms
 of 594
KM
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the shortest in
length
Use synonyms
 and lowest in carrying
capacity
Use synonyms
 is Kyoto with only 11
KM
Use synonyms
 and 11
million
Use synonyms
 carrying
capacity
Use synonyms
. In comparison, Los
Angles
Correct your spelling
Angeles
show examples
 is the second shortest but still has a
relativily
Correct your spelling
relatively
 high carrying
capacity
Use synonyms
 of 90
million
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, Washington DC is fourth in the total
length
Use synonyms
 of 149
KM
Use synonyms
 and
a
Add a missing verb
has a
show examples
low carrying
capacity
Use synonyms
 of only 70
million
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words length, km, capacity, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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