Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Health problems have become a contentious issue these days. Many people facing health issues are increasingly turning to
alternative
medicines rather than traditional medical approaches.
This
essay explains why
this
trend is a negative development in society. Numerous stories from distraught individuals suffering from serious illnesses have made
alternative
cures an appealing option for many.
Besides
their low cost, people often hope for instant recovery.
This
trend has been fueled by influencers on platforms like YouTube, who share their positive experiences with
alternative
treatments.
For example
, a famous YouTuber named Fafa
Friyanka
Correct your spelling
Priyanka
posted a video about her father's experience with
alternative
medicine to treat his cancer, claiming he felt better after the treatment.
This
video had a significant impact and influence on society. Despite
such
testimonials, there is no recorded evidence that
alternative
medicines result in a 100% cure rate.
On the contrary
, a study from the Harvard Medical Research Centre shows that diseases can worsen ten times faster without proper medical treatment compared to when they are treated medically. Continuing from the previous example, the public was shocked to learn about the passing of Fafa Friyanka's father a month after her positive review of
alternative
medicine.
This
underscores the fact that
alternative
medicine is not a recommended option for curing serious illnesses. In conclusion,
although
alternative
medicines may offer the enticing promise of magically curing serious diseases, they have not been scientifically proven to successfully treat illnesses.
Submitted by yxxs on

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task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task and presents a clear stance on the issue. To refine your response further, consider elaborating on the disadvantages of alternative medicines, such as potential risks and lack of regulation.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence by adding more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, words like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'Furthermore' can help guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
You provided a well-organized essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Real-world examples, such as the one about Fafa Friyanka, support your points effectively and make your arguments more compelling.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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