In recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe these developments are necessary, while others regard them as dangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion

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In contemporary society, whether utilizing advanced technologies in farming is an issue open to intensive debate. Some suggest that people should insist on conventional framing ways,
while
I contend that it is inevitable to facilitate industrialized agriculture. Granted, proponents assert that traditional cultivation has existed for a long period from the past to now,
thus
there are many merits of it. First and foremost, farmers who are absorbed in ploughing would be awarded a sense of belonging and achievement, motivating them to endeavour, and
consequently
produce a hard-working social atmosphere.
Moreover
, massive employment would be offered by focusing on old-fashioned farming, and
subsequently
dwindling the jobless population, which eventually stabilises the nations. For developing countries like India, their agriculture still holds a high percentage, helping citizens obtain occupations.
However
, supporters, including me, argue that industrialized farming is definitely the right answer for contemporary society.
Firstly
, factory cultivation complies with the popularity, especially today, our planet has over 7 billion residences. Only higher productivity of crops can meet the global demand for food.
Furthermore
, agricultural machines can replace dangerous and dull work, liberating the hands of the peasants, which improves the happiness level of the masses.
In addition
, proponents claim these are vital for food security and efficient use of resources. Technological advances in crops, like genetically modified organisms and precision farming, have improved yields and resilience to pests and weather.
Moreover
, residents can conduct other careers after agriculture industrialization
such
as tourism. They can rent cottages or sell farm products by live stream, which are more irreplaceable and can earn more funds.
For instance
, eco-tourism has been a staple in
bulk
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of countries, particularly China, that combine useful surroundings with tourism, appealing to tourists. In conclusion, some people assert that traditional farming is of significance,
whereas
some think farmers need to use technologies to increase output and efficiency. I support the latter view and contend that humans can attain more from economy and environmental protection.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is excellent. However, to improve further, you could more evenly address the views on traditional farming techniques. There should be additional specific examples illustrating the benefits of traditional farming to balance the argument better.
coherence cohesion
While your essay logically progresses from one point to another, some sentences can be more concise and directly related to the topic. Strengthening the connections between your points with clearer linking phrases would improve the overall coherence. Additionally, try to avoid overly complex sentence structures that might obscure your point.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are very effective in setting the stage and wrapping up your argument. This creates a clear and coherent structure for your essay.
supported main points
You provide adequate support for your main points with relevant examples, particularly for industrialized farming. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • factory farming
  • global demand
  • sustainable
  • ethical implications
  • antibiotic resistance
  • genetically modified organisms (GMOs)
  • precision farming
  • crop yields
  • biodiversity loss
  • food sovereignty
  • technological advances
  • resilience
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