IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#life #technology
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It is undoubtedly true that modern technology is a blessing for us and it is sometimes argued that our
lives
 were easier when technology was less advanced. I personally do not agree with
this
 statement and believe that the computer and the internet have made our life more better. The first thing is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 mobile phones have made our
lives
 much less laborious and give us more free time. Jobs that require lots of energy and time can now be done at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 touch of a button.
For example
, If we wanted to communicate with one another in the past, at first we had to write a letter, send it to the post office and wait for it to be delivered,
whereas
 these days we can just simply tap a Gmail icon and send a message within a second. The internet, the crucial thing, has
also
 enriched our
lives
 more easily by providing us
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
 information than we could ever need,
thus
 making us more independent and effective learners. In the past,
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 had to rely on a teacher or physical books for their education, which were either unavailable or in a format that most people did not want to learn, but nowadays we can choose and pick any kind of topic we want to learn.
For example
, there are thousands of online courses available on YouTube, where we can watch and learn from anywhere in the world. In Conclusion, Modern technology has been improving our
lives
 and many of the innovations
such
 as mobile phones and upgraded gadgets have made our
lives
 into another world.
Submitted by ahadmajumder152 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow between paragraphs by using more transitional phrases. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Sometimes your arguments lack depth. Incorporate more comprehensive explanations to ensure clarity and depth in your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious about minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Polishing these areas will make your essay more professional.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly conveys your stance on the topic.
relevant specific examples
You used relevant and contemporary examples to support your arguments, which strongly enhances your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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