Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some people perceive graduating from college become the best way to get a
job
while
others argue that getting experience and growing skills
are more prominent to getting a good job
. I believe both academics and experiences are crucial factors in securing a good job
.
On the one hand, completing university
education becomes a mandatory requirement for certain positions and makes applicants easier to get a job
. Some professions that are considered good jobs by some citizens such
as civil servants, police, or doctors need to have specific knowledge and degree to achieve it. Hence
, they have to graduate from the university
. Additionally
, many multinational companies hire their entry-level talents by
Change preposition
through
university
recruitment. Therefore
, graduating from university
is important to secure that job
.
On the other hand
, those who want to pursue entrepreneurial journeys and managerial positions have to hone their experiences and soft skills
. There are countless examples person who successfully built their venture and companies without completing their degree. For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook successfully built Facebook without graduating from university
. Furthermore
, when companies looking for someone in a managerial position, they prefer to choose those who have proven their expertise and interpersonal skills
without taking into consideration whether they are completing university
or not.
To conclude
, completing university
is a good choice for certain professions and is the first step to starting a career. Meanwhile, those who aspire to become an entrepreneur and want to go to the next level of their career have to hone experiences
and Correct pronoun usage
their experiences
skills
.Submitted by writingbersama on
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task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument equally to fully meet the requirements of the prompt. While you have discussed both perspectives, the balance could be improved.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay follows a logical structure, make sure to further clarify your main points. This can be achieved by using clear and concise topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more comprehensive explanations and examples. For instance, while you provided an example of Mark Zuckerberg, offering additional examples or elaborating on how soft skills contribute to success would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your argument well.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as Mark Zuckerberg, effectively supports your point about the importance of experience and soft skills.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs of your essay are well-organized, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.