Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to reduce crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion
People have different views about whether the best way to reduce
crime
by the perpetrators is by extending their punishment Use synonyms
period
or by finding other alternative approaches Use synonyms
instead
. Linking Words
while
extended periods of punishment can sometimes be useful for them to realize what they have done to be in Linking Words
such
a place, In my opinion, providing them the alternative approaches like psychological counselling would help them to be a good person in society.
On the one hand, people might sometimes indulge themselves in Linking Words
crime
Use synonyms
due to
uncontrollable anger or inevitable situations like traps and so on. When the Linking Words
period
of extension in prison is imposed, it will help them to realise their faults that could have been avoided as the jail provides more loneliness. Use synonyms
However
, making them realise Linking Words
instead
of any external influence allows the opportunity to get a greater impact on their behaviours. Linking Words
For example
, A recent survey posted that inmates in Andaman prison were not allowed to talk to any of their fellow inmates for an extended Linking Words
period
of time and the tracking record showed once they were set free they did not involve themselves in any Use synonyms
crime
. Use synonyms
Hence
it shows that they all have realised how important the art of loneliness impacted their life as it should be followed by others too.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, it is perhaps even more important to show them the alternative approaches for them to reduce the Linking Words
crime
rate. The reason behind Use synonyms
this
is, that when the person is set alone they will not only have some mental instability to handle their emotion but Linking Words
also
suffer to expose them which in turn results from them being arrogant personality. Linking Words
For Instance
, the study conducted by The Hindu newspaper in 2023, showed the results of involving them in counselling and making them talk to their relatives and loved ones has increased their willingness to restart their lives . Linking Words
Thus
, Linking Words
instead
of punishing them for a longer Linking Words
period
, these effective methods have proven significantly to reduce common criminal activities.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
there are people who still argue that punishments should be extended to reduce Linking Words
crime
because it provides them the right realisation Use synonyms
period
to correct their faults, I believe that having them involved in more corrective measures will pave the way for them to be a valuable person for their family members and Use synonyms
as well as
for the societyLinking Words
Submitted by chandralekha1993 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the topic and discusses both views thoroughly. However, be cautious with minor grammar and punctuation errors which can affect readability.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that each argument logically leads to the next one and that transitions are smooth. This can be done by using more linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Expand on your points more comprehensively. For instance, delve deeper into how alternative approaches like psychological counseling specifically help reduce crime.
coherence cohesion
Your essay sometimes lacks clarity because of awkward phrasing. Work on expressing your ideas more clearly to ensure that the reader can easily follow your argument.
structure
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured frame to your arguments.
evidence
Relevant and specific examples are used to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
task achievement
You address both perspectives on the issue, demonstrating a balanced approach.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.