IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that air travelshould be restricted because it causes serious pollution and up the world's fuel resources. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is controversial that restrictions on the use of
flights
Use synonyms
 are necessary since they harm the environment and consume the global resources of fuel. I partially agree with
this
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 view, for the increasing amount of contaminated
air
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as well as
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 the severe shortage of petrol regardless of the fact that
air
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travel
Use synonyms
 has played a significant role in boosting the number of foreign tourists. On one hand, strict regulations on
air
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travel
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 are crucial as the growing level of dangerous chemicals emitted into the
air
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.
In other words
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, there has been accumulating damage to the environment, lowering the quality of
air
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 with polluted gases from planes.
For instance
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, the amount of CO2 is rising nearly by 3% from
last
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 year in major cities
such
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 as Osaka and Tokyo where airports are usually located since
flights
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 increased after the pandemic of coronavirus in 2019.
Furthermore
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,the truth that the growing reliance on planes leads to more widespread land drilling for oil, which forces many wild animals to lose their habitats
also
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 raises the importance of harsher restrictions on flight
travel
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.
On the other hand
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,
air
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travel
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 should be promoted to facilitate the transport of people across borders. Indeed, the advancement of
flights
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 has brought increasing numbers of international visitors, making
travel
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 industries become the primary business in some regions.
For example
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, the annual number of foreign visitors improved dramatically from approximately 10,000 in 2019 to 50,000 in 2023 with the prevailing use of LCC, or inexpensive
flights
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 in modern society.
Therefore
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, the growth of avenues that a nation expects from
this
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 trend is incredible and restrictions on their use can pose a serious threat to a national economy. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that the spreading negative influence on the environment calls for a need for stricter regulations to prevent people from using planes in travelling.
However
Linking Words
, the limit of
flights
Use synonyms
also
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 affects the national economy with the declining figure of tourists from overseas.

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task achievement
To score higher, try enhancing the clarity and depth of your ideas. While the essay addresses both sides of the argument, it can be more convincing with additional detailed reasoning and examples. For instance, include statistical data or case studies for stronger support.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a clear focus and flow throughout the essay. While the structure is mostly logical, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance this cohesion.
task achievement
Demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with a balanced approach by discussing both sides and supporting with relevant points.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion which encapsulates the main points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Climate change
  • CO2 emissions
  • High altitudes
  • Fossil fuels
  • Non-renewable energy resources
  • Energy scarcity
  • Sustainable air travel
  • Fuel-efficient aircraft
  • Alternative fuels
  • Economic repercussions
  • Global trade
  • Tourism
  • Alternative modes of transportation
  • Environmental impact
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