It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

İt is said that taking

risks

brings a lot of benefits.

However

, it

also

gives us some drawbacks. First of all, it is obvious that taking

risks

will cause a great loss if

people

do it and fail . In personal life,

this

loss might

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

be so harmful.

However

, it will be really

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

in professional life, because

people

take

Remove the article

apply

show examples

responsibility not only for themselves but

also

others

such

colleages

Correct your spelling

colleagues

, customers and their families. It will even damage

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

economic point.

On the other hand

, we can

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

huge

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

by taking

risks

Firstly

, we can learn how to prepare for one goal through

this

process. In order to achieve the aim,

people

will make all the

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to think about it and try to find

Add an article

a more

the more

show examples

efficient way. if they do

this

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professional circumstances, they will recognise the responsibility and importance of cooperation.

Also

, it will be completely meaningful even though

people

can't achieve

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

show examples

after

risks

. They will learn the reason why they have failed and how to change it . The failure will enable them to improve their skills and to achieve their

object

Replace the word

objectives

show examples

next time. As I mentioned, it is true that taking

risks

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

us both advantages and disadvantages.

However

, it can be argued that the benefits

outweighed

Wrong verb form

outweigh

show examples

the drawbacks in that we can obtain advantages not only from the result but

also

from the process of taking

risks

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Fri Jul 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on tightening the introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful and clearly linked to the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

task achievement

Ensure that all arguments are fully developed and supported by relevant and specific examples. This will add depth to your essay.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced discussion on the topic, presenting both advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well supported and illustrate a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, think that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed school. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think it is the responsibility for government to ensure the people have healthy lifestyle. Other think people should have a free for their own lifestyle decision. Discusse both view and give your opinion.