Sports play a significant role in promoting physical and mental well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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When
people
discuss
health
and well-being, and the best route to achieve it, exercising is always the first thing that comes to mind. One of the most beneficial outcomes of sports is increasing physical and mental
health
. From my point of view, I completely agree, and in the following, I will elaborate in detail. My first reason to support
this
idea is that engaging in daily physical activities, mainly in the mornings, helps the process of releasing some hormones from the brain which results in being in a good mood for the entire day.
Moreover
, these hormones ,
such
as endorphins, help
people
to be prepared for everyday challenges and suffer less than other
people
. To exemplify, most
people
try to start their day with an early morning outdoor exercise and if they fail to maintain
this
daily routine for just a short period of time, they somehow feel down and low energy.
This
example proves the significant role of sports in one’s mental balance. The Second reason is that having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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routine physical activity is proven to be one of the main factors which prevents facing physical issues,
such
as heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
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. Researchers have demonstrated that
people
who tend to follow a stable exercise plan will encounter fewer fatal illnesses and
therefore
will have a longer lifespan than others.
Also
, these
people
always stay fit and stronger than others.
For instance
, the rate of heart disease is considerably lower in athletes than other
people
, emphasizing the fact that intense physical activities promote one’s physical
health
. All in all, engaging in any sort of physical activity, or sports is now proven to be the most efficient way to maintain one's bodily and mental
health
and I believe that there is no debate about that.
Submitted by basri.fateme on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks complex sentence structures and uses simple ones on most occasions. Try to incorporate a variety of sentences structures to enhance your overall score.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is mostly coherent and well-organized, there are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Proofreading your work will help eliminate these mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Use of transition words and phrases could be improved to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt by elaborating on both physical and mental benefits of sports.
task achievement
The examples used are relevant and substantiate the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing the essay effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical well-being
  • mental well-being
  • regular exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • weight management
  • endorphins
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • team sports
  • social skills
  • friendships
  • teamwork
  • life skills
  • discipline
  • time management
  • perseverance
  • cognitive function
  • concentration
  • academic performance
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