Sports play a significant role in promoting physical and mental well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

When

people

discuss

health

and well-being, and the best route to achieve it, exercising is always the first thing that comes to mind. One of the most beneficial outcomes of sports is increasing physical and mental

health

. From my point of view, I completely agree, and in the following, I will elaborate in detail. My first reason to support

this

idea is that engaging in daily physical activities, mainly in the mornings, helps the process of releasing some hormones from the brain which results in being in a good mood for the entire day.

Moreover

, these hormones ,

such

as endorphins, help

people

to be prepared for everyday challenges and suffer less than other

people

. To exemplify, most

people

try to start their day with an early morning outdoor exercise and if they fail to maintain

this

daily routine for just a short period of time, they somehow feel down and low energy.

This

example proves the significant role of sports in one’s mental balance. The Second reason is that having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

routine physical activity is proven to be one of the main factors which prevents facing physical issues,

such

as heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

. Researchers have demonstrated that

people

who tend to follow a stable exercise plan will encounter fewer fatal illnesses and

therefore

will have a longer lifespan than others.

Also

, these

people

always stay fit and stronger than others.

For instance

, the rate of heart disease is considerably lower in athletes than other

people

, emphasizing the fact that intense physical activities promote one’s physical

health

. All in all, engaging in any sort of physical activity, or sports is now proven to be the most efficient way to maintain one's bodily and mental

health

and I believe that there is no debate about that.

Submitted by basri.fateme on Sat Jul 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks complex sentence structures and uses simple ones on most occasions. Try to incorporate a variety of sentences structures to enhance your overall score.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is mostly coherent and well-organized, there are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Proofreading your work will help eliminate these mistakes.

coherence cohesion

Use of transition words and phrases could be improved to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt by elaborating on both physical and mental benefits of sports.

task achievement

The examples used are relevant and substantiate the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing the essay effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical well-being
mental well-being
regular exercise
chronic diseases
weight management
endorphins
depression
anxiety
stress
team sports
social skills
friendships
teamwork
life skills
discipline
time management
perseverance
cognitive function
concentration
academic performance

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Sports play a significant role in promoting physical and mental well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The major cities in around the world continue growth, the more problems they may have. What the problems young people are caused by develop? What can be done to solve this?

In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others belive that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people prefer watch foreign film rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should government give more financial support to local movie industries?