Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
People
recently have faced lots of Use synonyms
celebrities
most of them are known for their beautiful faces and the huge money which they owe ,rather than their abilities. Use synonyms
That is
a wrong perception for others specifically youths who tend to mimic Linking Words
celebrities
. I agree with Use synonyms
this
statement somewhat but I think it is not totally true.
In my opinion, Linking Words
celebrities
Use synonyms
such
as Hollywood actors who are rich obtain most of their wealth from working Linking Words
however
, after becoming famous Linking Words
people
only see their money. Unfortunately, the processes of advertising do not focus on their abilities and show them as a person who has lots of money and attracts Use synonyms
people
in Use synonyms
this
way. Many Linking Words
celebrities
introduce commercial products and encourage Use synonyms
people
to follow them and purchase from manufacturers. Use synonyms
As a result
, they do not show their talent in these parts of their work. Linking Words
Additionally
, youngsters who like to be at Linking Words
this
level of wealth are confused about the right way to progress.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, teenagers who often have a favour to be famous try to make themself like Linking Words
celebrities
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they wear clothes and make-up the same as their favourite actor or singer, Linking Words
therefore
, these younger Linking Words
people
will be exposed to some vulnerable results .we hear from the news about youths who want to be famous unfortunately, they are involved in gang groups that are shown by some Use synonyms
celebrities
for benefits. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
celebrities
should be aware fans to know their life story in order to promote their training and hard work.
In conclusion, seeing Use synonyms
celebrities
in the media is not their real life. It is unquestionable that famous Use synonyms
people
made lots of effort to achieve their position but they do not have the desire to express that to others. Teachers and parents need to educate their children to study Use synonyms
celebrities
’ achievements Use synonyms
in addition
to their income and appearance.Linking Words
Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Your essay addresses the main points of the task, but it could benefit from greater clarity and conciseness. Try to maintain a clear and logical structure throughout, ensuring that each paragraph addresses one main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on logical transitions and coherence between sentences and paragraphs. This will help your ideas flow more naturally and make your argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with grammar and word choice. There are a few inaccuracies that slightly obscure the meaning. Proofreading and more practice can help reduce these errors.
Task Response
Your essay raises valid points about celebrities and their influence on youth. You include relevant examples and address both sides of the argument, which enriches your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion adequately frame the essay. They provide a good starting point and a satisfactory closing that ties your arguments together.