IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as parks and squares, Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is it is important
to
Change preposition
for
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 all villages and cities to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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parks
Use synonyms
 and public places. It is undeniable that public places and
parks
Use synonyms
 become an essential part of our life.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 there is no absolute agreement as some people find
beneficial
Correct pronoun usage
it beneficial
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,
while
Linking Words
 others consider everything associated with
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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 of the region.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is well known that public
parks
Use synonyms
 and
spaces
Use synonyms
 provide numerous benefits to both individuals and communities. What I mean here is that studies have shown that spending time in nature can significantly reduce stress, improve mental health, and enhance
overall
Linking Words
 well-being.
Furthermore
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,
parks
Use synonyms
 encourage physical activity by providing safe
spaces
Use synonyms
 for walking, jogging, cycling, and various sports, promoting a healthier lifestyle for residents. One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 behind
that is
Linking Words
 young guys from an early age can start doing different activities like going to the park for a run with fresh air and
also
Linking Words
 develop their
cardio-vascular
Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
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 system. Some champion athletes love to train in
parks
Use synonyms
 around trees and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
parks
Use synonyms
 and public
spaces
Use synonyms
 provide a critical venue for informal education and skill development.
For example
Linking Words
, children and teenagers who regularly visit
parks
Use synonyms
 are more likely to develop a lifelong appreciation for physical activity and outdoor experiences. In conclusion,
parks
Use synonyms
 and public
spaces
Use synonyms
 are essential for people's health and social interaction. Despite the costs of maintaining them, their benefits to quality of life and well-being make them worth developing and sustaining in both urban and rural areas.

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Coherence & Cohesion
In your introduction, clearly state your position on the topic to enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and dynamic.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and logical structure, with well-developed paragraphs that support your main idea.
Task Response
You have effectively highlighted the importance of parks and public spaces on both mental and physical health.
Task Response
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces your overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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