In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In some places, tertiary
students
live with their parents and siblings
while
attending
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
show examples
while
in other places
students
attend
university
in a different
city
. Some people believe that living away from home is not beneficial
due to
several reasons
while
some believe that it is. In
this
essay, I will list the benefits of living away from home
while
attending
university
. Having
one
's own space
while
attending
university
is beneficial to the learner as it will develop different
skills
.
Firstly
,
university
students
will be able to learn how to live independently
as well as
it will improve their
skills
in doing house tasks on their own. Another benefit of living away from home is that
students
will be able to enhance their budgeting
skills
. Since they are away from family and only given a specific budget to make do either weekly or monthly.
For example
, I was living in a dorm and was given an allowance each week,
this
made me enhance my budgeting
skills
as I would need to manage it to be able to have a little money left over for savings.
Lastly
,
students
are able to start anew.
This
means that
students
are able to foster and create new friends and to be able to have personal growth.
On the other hand
, living and studying in a different
city
may have some downsides.
One
of the downsides is that
students
may lack emotional
support
. Since family is a system which an individual can mainly get emotional
support
from, having a family away can significantly decrease emotional
support
as they would not be able to physically see
one
's stress.
For example
, since I was studying in a different
city
, my mother was not able to give her full emotional
support
and was only giving me tips on how to handle it as she was not able to travel to the
city
as it is quite far from where we live. In conclusion, living and studying in another
city
is beneficial for
one
's personal growth and developing
skills
such
as budgeting ,
however
,
one
of the disadvantages of
this
is the lack of emotional
support
from
one
's family.
However
,personally, the advantages of studying and living in a different surpass the downsides.
Submitted by estillorericamae on

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general
The essay covers both the benefits and the disadvantages of living away from home while studying at a university, and it makes a clear conclusion. To improve, try to ensure each paragraph has a clear single point, and that all points are equally supported with examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is solid, but it can be enhanced by making smoother transitions between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next and make more explicit connections between points.
task achievement
Some examples provided, like the personal anecdote about budgeting, work well to support the points. However, consider adding more varied types of evidence such as statistical data, expert opinions, or real-life examples to strengthen the argument further.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion which helps the reader understand the overall argument and main points.
task achievement
Personal examples are used to illustrate points, which help to make the essay more relatable and grounded.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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