Some people think hosting major international sporting events brings a lot of advantages to a country, while others believe there are more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A group of individuals present the view that holding business
events
on the scale of international results in huge benefits for a nation,
whereas
others believe
such
events
bring more negatives. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some
people
justifiably argue that these occasions have more economic and intercultural advantages than other negative impacts. Local
people
on
this
occasion are able to earn more money than normal by selling their local products
such
as hand-woven goods, local foods, etc. They are
also
making money by providing advantages by some services that newcomers to their country can be useful for
such
as hoteling services, tour guiding or something like that. They
also
believe that international sporting
events
in their location open the door to knowing and raising their awareness about different cultures.
People
on these occasions have the opportunity to learn new languages and new lifestyles of other nations.
On the other hand
, another group of
people
claim that play
events
on a global scale bring overcrowding and result in over traffic in their place and
finally
, they are unable to reach their work or their home easily. They
also
insist that
such
an event can make difficulty in inter-personal communication difficult because they do not know new languages more than their mother tongue.
However
, I do not find
this
argument convincing as local poor amenities will be developed and reduce the traffic jams.
Additionally
, local government should encourage their individuals to learn at least one foreign language like English to enable them to effectively communicate with tourists who will come to watch the sports
events
.
To conclude
, in my view, I firmly accept the idea that hosting sports
events
on an international scale brings more benefits than drawbacks because local
people
can gain advantages of broadening their prospects in life with communication by other nations.
Moreover
, Local
people
and
also
local government can have new sources of income by selling their local goods.
As a result
, international sporting
events
lead to the advancement of basic infrastructures and force the local
people
to flourish.
Submitted by mohsenakhlaghiplc on

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task achievement
Your essay presents both views on the topic and clearly states your opinion as well, which is very good for task response. To enhance your score, consider providing more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure and flows well from one point to the next, but some paragraphs could be better linked for improved cohesion. Using more transitional phrases can help with this. For instance, start paragraphs with phrases like 'First and foremost,' 'On the contrary,' etc.
clarity grammar
There are minor grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing that can be improved. Reading your essay aloud or asking someone else to review it can help catch these issues.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and well-written, giving a strong start and end to your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both views of the argument and stated your opinion clearly, which is essential for a high task response score.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea and you provide supporting sentences to explain your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic benefits
  • global standing
  • cultural exchange
  • urban development
  • infrastructure investment
  • tourism boost
  • job creation
  • financial strain
  • short-term benefits
  • displacement
  • gentrification
  • operational expenses
  • diplomatic opportunities
  • modernization
  • international community
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