In some countries, teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still at school. What benefits does this bring for the teenager? Are there any drawbacks?
Although
working a few hours a day while
studying has some benefits for the young ones, it can also
cause serious issues. This
essay will demonstrate how students
develop the knowledge and skills required for their future employment but will also
show that this
can lead to such
problems as a lack of focus on studies. Whilst acknowledging that there are positives, the essay will argue that the disadvantages of such
jobs outweigh the advantages.
On the one hand, part-time jobs allow students
to develop their cognitive ability as well as
improve their skills in various areas such
as money management, time management, and prioritizing tasks which makes them more self-sufficient and mature. This
is important to cope with the stresses of adult life when they actually get opportunities to perform in a real work
environment. Moreover
, they gain immense knowledge from real-life experiences when they meet many people in the workplace and community which helps them to understand the reality of life. For instance
, in Western countries, students
are encouraged to work
limited hours a week to get along with
the community to boost their social skills.
On the other hand
, such
exposure makes students
lose their interest in education. That is
to say that when they are accustomed to work
culture they might have a lower value for studies as money is the ultimate goal for leading a sophisticated life. Furthermore
, it might cause disciplinary issues in an educational setting as they might intend to spoil the other kids who are regularly attending schools and motivate them to skip classes to earn more money. For instance
, a recent study found that in many developed countries, teenagers are skipping classes in order to work
in reputed franchises. As a result
, the dropout percentage has increased significantly which has influenced the government to set minimal age requirements for employment.
In conclusion, although
doing part-time jobs while
studying has greater benefits, it is influencing them to lose their focus on school education because of having lower educational values and creating behavioural issues. Hence
, the drawbacks of such
practice definitely outweigh the positives.Submitted by jeeanay on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay maintains a balanced consideration of both sides of the argument before presenting a clear conclusion. You should elaborate on both benefits and drawbacks to support your view effectively.
task achievement
When discussing the benefits or drawbacks, providing specific examples can enrich your essay and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Refer to studies or evidence to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure, but consider varying your sentence structures and using more complex linking phrases to improve coherence and cohesion. This helps to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, which is commendable, ensure they are both comprehensive and effectively encapsulate the main points of your essay. Aim for your conclusion to reflect a considered evaluation of the points discussed.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?