In some countries, teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still at school. What benefits does this bring for the teenager? Are there any drawbacks?
Although
working a few hours a day Linking Words
while
studying has some benefits for the young ones, it can Linking Words
also
cause serious issues. Linking Words
This
essay will demonstrate how Linking Words
students
develop the knowledge and skills required for their future employment but will Use synonyms
also
show that Linking Words
this
can lead to Linking Words
such
problems as a lack of focus on studies. Whilst acknowledging that there are positives, the essay will argue that the disadvantages of Linking Words
such
jobs outweigh the advantages.
On the one hand, part-time jobs allow Linking Words
students
to develop their cognitive ability Use synonyms
as well as
improve their skills in various areas Linking Words
such
as money management, time management, and prioritizing tasks which makes them more self-sufficient and mature. Linking Words
This
is important to cope with the stresses of adult life when they actually get opportunities to perform in a real Linking Words
work
environment. Use synonyms
Moreover
, they gain immense knowledge from real-life experiences when they meet many people in the workplace and community which helps them to understand the reality of life. Linking Words
For instance
, in Western countries, Linking Words
students
are encouraged to Use synonyms
work
limited hours a week to get Use synonyms
along with
the community to boost their social skills.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, Linking Words
such
exposure makes Linking Words
students
lose their interest in education. Use synonyms
That is
to say that when they are accustomed to Linking Words
work
culture they might have a lower value for studies as money is the ultimate goal for leading a sophisticated life. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, it might cause disciplinary issues in an educational setting as they might intend to spoil the other kids who are regularly attending schools and motivate them to skip classes to earn more money. Linking Words
For instance
, a recent study found that in many developed countries, teenagers are skipping classes in order to Linking Words
work
in reputed franchises. Use synonyms
As a result
, the dropout percentage has increased significantly which has influenced the government to set minimal age requirements for employment.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
doing part-time jobs Linking Words
while
studying has greater benefits, it is influencing them to lose their focus on school education because of having lower educational values and creating behavioural issues. Linking Words
Hence
, the drawbacks of Linking Words
such
practice definitely outweigh the positives.Linking Words
Submitted by jeeanay on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay maintains a balanced consideration of both sides of the argument before presenting a clear conclusion. You should elaborate on both benefits and drawbacks to support your view effectively.
task achievement
When discussing the benefits or drawbacks, providing specific examples can enrich your essay and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Refer to studies or evidence to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure, but consider varying your sentence structures and using more complex linking phrases to improve coherence and cohesion. This helps to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, which is commendable, ensure they are both comprehensive and effectively encapsulate the main points of your essay. Aim for your conclusion to reflect a considered evaluation of the points discussed.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?