The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. While some people believe it has brought about significant positive changes, others argue that it has had negative effects on society

#internet #lives #decades #people #changes #effects #society

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The

internet

Use synonyms

has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades.

While

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some people believe it has brought about significant positive changes, others argue that it has had negative effects on society. In my opinion, the

internet

Use synonyms

has provided many benefits but

also

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poses some challenges that need to be addressed.

Firstly

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, the

internet

Use synonyms

has revolutionized communication. It has made it possible for people to stay connected regardless of geographical distances. Social media platforms, emails, and instant messaging have allowed for real-time communication, which has strengthened relationships and enabled collaboration across borders.

For example

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, businesses can now operate globally and have teams working from different parts of the world efficiently.

Secondly

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, the

internet

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is an invaluable source of

information

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. It has made knowledge accessible to everyone with an

internet

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connection.

This

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democratization of

information

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has empowered individuals by providing educational resources, news, and research materials.

For instance

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, students can access online courses and tutorials, enhancing their learning experiences.

However

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, the

internet

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also

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brings several drawbacks. One major concern is the issue of privacy. With the vast amount of personal data shared online, there is a risk of data breaches and identity theft.

Additionally

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, the

internet

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has contributed to the spread of misinformation. False

information

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can be disseminated quickly, leading to misunderstandings and sometimes harmful consequences. Another problem is the addiction to digital devices, which can negatively impact physical and mental health. In conclusion,

while

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the

internet

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has significantly improved our lives by enhancing communication and providing access to

information

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, it

also

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presents challenges

such

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as privacy issues, misinformation, and addiction. It is crucial to find a balance to ensure that the benefits of the

internet

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are maximized

while

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minimizing its negative impacts.

Submitted by sreejas0104 on Tue Jul 30 2024

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Vocabulary Enhancement

Consider using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of proficiency. This will also help in making your essay more engaging.

Detail Expansion

Dive deeper into each drawback mentioned. For example, elaborate on how misinformation spreads or provide more examples regarding privacy issues. This will make your arguments even stronger.

Strong Introduction

The essay has a clear and concise introduction that presents the topic effectively and sets the stage for the discussion.

Logical Structure

The body paragraphs are well-organized, each tackling different aspects of the internet's impact. This makes the essay easy to follow and logically structured.

Relevant Examples

Relevant and specific examples, such as businesses operating globally and students accessing online courses, are provided to support the main points.

Effective Conclusion

The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and reinforces the need for balance, providing a thoughtful end to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

283 words

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The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. While some people believe it has brought about significant positive changes, others argue that it has had negative effects on society

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some people thi it that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as Olympics and World cups. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults to do exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?