IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. While some people believe it has brought about significant positive changes, others argue that it has had negative effects on society

#internet #lives #decades #people #changes #effects #society
The
internet
 has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades.
While
 some people believe it has brought about significant positive changes, others argue that it has had negative effects on society. In my opinion, the
internet
 has provided many benefits but
also
 poses some challenges that need to be addressed.
Firstly
, the
internet
 has revolutionized communication. It has made it possible for people to stay connected regardless of geographical distances. Social media platforms, emails, and instant messaging have allowed for real-time communication, which has strengthened relationships and enabled collaboration across borders.
For example
, businesses can now operate globally and have teams working from different parts of the world efficiently.
Secondly
, the
internet
 is an invaluable source of
information
. It has made knowledge accessible to everyone with an
internet
 connection.
This
 democratization of
information
 has empowered individuals by providing educational resources, news, and research materials.
For instance
, students can access online courses and tutorials, enhancing their learning experiences.
However
, the
internet
also
 brings several drawbacks. One major concern is the issue of privacy. With the vast amount of personal data shared online, there is a risk of data breaches and identity theft.
Additionally
, the
internet
 has contributed to the spread of misinformation. False
information
 can be disseminated quickly, leading to misunderstandings and sometimes harmful consequences. Another problem is the addiction to digital devices, which can negatively impact physical and mental health. In conclusion,
while
 the
internet
 has significantly improved our lives by enhancing communication and providing access to
information
, it
also
 presents challenges
such
 as privacy issues, misinformation, and addiction. It is crucial to find a balance to ensure that the benefits of the
internet
 are maximized
while
 minimizing its negative impacts.
Submitted by sreejas0104 on

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Vocabulary Enhancement
Consider using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of proficiency. This will also help in making your essay more engaging.
Detail Expansion
Dive deeper into each drawback mentioned. For example, elaborate on how misinformation spreads or provide more examples regarding privacy issues. This will make your arguments even stronger.
Strong Introduction
The essay has a clear and concise introduction that presents the topic effectively and sets the stage for the discussion.
Logical Structure
The body paragraphs are well-organized, each tackling different aspects of the internet's impact. This makes the essay easy to follow and logically structured.
Relevant Examples
Relevant and specific examples, such as businesses operating globally and students accessing online courses, are provided to support the main points.
Effective Conclusion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and reinforces the need for balance, providing a thoughtful end to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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