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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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People have different views as to whether careers
such
 as doctors and engineers should be working in the nation where they are trained. In my opinion, despite the fact that there are benefits to
this
 approach, I believe that they should be allowed to perform in another region. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why occupations, namely doctors and engineers, should be allowed to
work
 in the country they are educated.
Firstly
, it is easy to cooperate with colleagues.
For example
, a problem
such
 as a language barrier would not occur and workers are trained in the same textbook, which would result in more effective
work
.
Secondly
, the knowledge that they have learned might only be applicable here, a region where they are trained.
For instance
, some diseases could only be found in
this
 particular region or some materials are available in
this
 geographic area only, so working in other locations would dramatically hinder the quality of those workers.
On the other hand
, it is commonly believed that there are two reasons why they should be permitted to
work
 in another country.
Firstly
, it is their right to choose what is best for them.
For example
, the living and working conditions
such
 as high salaries, living close to family, working environment, and weather.
Secondly
, it will enhance the world in general. To illustrate, expanding the knowledge to other areas of the world would result in an integration of knowledge,
such
 as the mixture of medical treatments between Eastern and Western, which leads to a better world. In conclusion,
although
 prohibiting those professionals in one country would provide pros in some aspects, I genuinely believe that allowing them to
work
 in another state would bring about many more benefits.
Submitted by pandin21 on

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task achievement
You have provided clear and relevant examples to support your main points, but adding some statistical data or more detailed examples could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next to maintain a seamless flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be more concise to enhance readability and clarity. Simplifying complex sentences where possible would help in achieving this.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a strong and clear structure. Your introduction sets up the topic well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your points.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples which make your arguments compelling.
complete response
You have successfully provided a balanced discussion by addressing both sides of the argument before presenting your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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