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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

young people are increasingly choosing to eliminate meat from their diets and become vegetarians. Do you think this is a good idea? Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks?

#people #meat #diets #vegetarians #idea
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As veganism trending is becoming extremely common, the young as well have the tendency to become vegetarians, removing
meat
Use synonyms
 from their diets. From my perspective, I'm convinced that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon presents positive changes, yet doesn't outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are undeniable advantages of having a vegetarian meal. One of the most significant benefits is that
this
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diet
Use synonyms
 helps avoid many chronic illnesses
such
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 as heart disease, cancer or obesity. Another positive aspect is that vegetarians are less likely to be overweight as the amount of calories in vegetables is extremely lower than that in
meat
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.
For example
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, many studies have been conducted, showcasing a small rate of vegetarians being diabetic, compared to the ordinary.
On the other hand
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, eliminating
meat
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 may have some negative impacts, as it nourishes our body more than plant-based foods can.
Firstly
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, vegetables are deficient in protein
whereas
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 a large amount of
this
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 is found in
meat
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. The main reason why the human body needs to consume a balanced
diet
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 of protein is to build and repair tissue
as well as
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 maintain a healthy body, which is vital when doing anything energetic.
Secondly
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,
besides
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 promoting mental health,
meat
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also
Linking Words
 improves physical health as
meat
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 is extremely rich in various vitamins and minerals
such
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 Linking Words
Usage
Correct article usage
The usage
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 of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score. as vitamins A, B, and D. It has been proven that these vitamins play an important role in promoting good vision,
strengthening
Correct word choice
and strengthening
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 teeth and
bones
Fix the agreement mistake
bone
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 system as well. All things considered, it is true that following a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 results in many benefits
such
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 as lowering risks of getting chronic illnesses.
However
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, I believe that
meat
Use synonyms
 is highly required
while
Linking Words
 maintaining a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by caivankihh779 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points about the benefits and drawbacks of a vegetarian diet.
task achievement
Try to clarify the conclusion to directly address whether benefits outweigh the drawbacks, as the thesis is slightly unclear on this point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in connecting ideas to improve logical flow throughout the essay. This will help in boosting the logical structure score.
introduction
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and provides your perspective, setting a solid foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains good cohesion by using appropriate linking words, which helps to connect ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, which helps to organize your thoughts and make your essay more coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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