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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

#people #changes #technology #relationships #become #development
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Over the
last
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 few decades,
technology
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 has had a profound impact on
people
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's manner of communication with each other. It is highly connected with the invention of phones, which has made communication easier, faster, and more comfortable. From my standpoint,
although
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 there are some negative sides to it, like losing nature,
this
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 phenomenon is far more positive as it is beneficial in terms of money, time, and attention. The invention of
technology
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 has changed the status quo of the way
people
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 interact with each other. In the past, apart from face-to-face meetings, the main stuff
people
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 used were letters, which were sent to particular destinations with the help of postmen.
Also
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, one of the main sources of information or news was heralds or newspapers, which took time to transmit the information to the population. On the one hand, there are some disadvantages to the creation of
technology
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. One of the prime examples of
this
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 is the extinction of naturality. To explain, with stucking behind the computer or other gadgets,
people
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 are losing the ability to speak and becoming aloof and taciturn.
Moreover
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, mobiles are making
people
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 more addicted to phones and drifting relatives apart by only chatting online and knowing about the welfare of each other. I believe,
on the other hand
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, that
ongoing
Correct article usage
the ongoing
show examples
 trend regarding modern devices is advantageous
according to
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 the facts below. Through the usage of gadgets,
people
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 might economize time, money, and effort could be used to come over somewhere in order to meet someone. Humanity has become able to interact with each other even though there are thousands of kilometres between them,
for example
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.
In addition
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, you can talk with anyone anytime you want by just clicking your phone and doing a call with him or her.
Thus
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, the invention of technologies was in favour of human beings.
To conclude
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, despite several disadvantages of
technology
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,
such
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 as addiction, in my opinion, the trend is positive
due to
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 the fact that it makes it easier to keep in touch with relatives and friends.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider providing a more balanced analysis of both the positive and negative effects of technology. Elaborate on specific examples and situations to illustrate your points clearly.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by organizing your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and all sentences should relate to and support this main idea.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and sophisticated vocabulary. This will demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency and help convey your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting a stance on the topic and summarizing the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have identified both positive and negative aspects of technology, demonstrating an understanding of the topic's complexity.
task achievement
The examples provided, while brief, help illustrate the impact of technology on communication and relationships.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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