It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

People

have different views as to whether individuals should take

risks

in terms of their jobs and their private lives. In my opinion, despite there are drawbacks to

this

, I firmly believe it brings about many more benefits. On the one hand, there are two cons regarding taking

risks

Firstly

, it has a potential for failure, which affects

people

's confidence and might lead to loss of money and time,

such

as investing in a new business or a brand new stock, studying in foreign countries, and changing jobs.

Secondly

, too many

risks

could lead to a complicated

life

since individuals would feel anxious, stressed, and pressured towards the challenge.

Consequently

, it directly impacts

people

around those

people

, creating uncomfortable circumstances.

In addition

, all of

this

could result in a negative impact on relationships

due to

uncertainty in personal and professional

life

On the other hand

, there are three pros on why humans should take

risks

Firstly

, it often leads to personal growth in terms of mental and physical health since

people

would have to travel or challenge themselves by doing a new thing, which brings self-discovery and more

life

experiences.

Secondly

, it results in career development because

people

would have an opportunity to learn many new skills and gain several of knowledge. In doing so, they will receive high incomes and be in a better career position.

Lastly

, taking

risks

leads to a more exciting

life

as their

life

will not be a routine. In conclusion, I genuinely believe that the positives of taking

risks

outweigh the negatives.

Submitted by pandin21 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the task and covers both advantages and disadvantages of taking risks but could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your points. Try to elaborate on the general statements with particular instances or case studies for better illustration.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured and includes an introduction and conclusion, there is some room for better transition between ideas. Consider using cohesive devices (e.g., 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' 'For instance') to connect your points more smoothly and clearly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.

task achievement

You have successfully identified both positive and negative aspects of taking risks, providing a balanced view that aligns with the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people believe that sending childern in boarding school at a very tender age is good to what extent do you agree or disagree

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