Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In the present climate, subsequent ways of treatment have gained momentum. It seems rational to stay in opposition to
this
approach as it can lead to serious health
issues.
One of the main justifications for rejecting this
trend is the demand for accurate knowledge to find out the reasons that lie at the root of those diseases. It cannot be distinguished unless with the help of experts in that regard. For instance
, there are some antibiotics designed for certain types of bacteria failing to treat other species. Thus
, consumption of them not only would not help some patients but also
they can deteriorate their health
condition.
Another explanation is related to the dosage of the medicines which needs to be accurate to promote efficiency. It means that the supervision of a specialist in the treatment process is a determinant for prescribing sufficient dosage. For instance
, those who are suffering from diabetes need to have a regular visit with their doctor for constant evaluation tests in order to attain information about a proper dosage of related pills or insulin that suits their current blood sugar level.
On the other hand
, some may claim that it can be time-consuming and extra expenditure
to see a healthcare expert. It is contended that patients can make decisions about their Replace the word
expensive
health
condition, as well as
using various sources for treatment. However
, I tend to find myself in disagreement with them as consuming a medicine without science can lead to a disaster which may need more money and time to be compensated, however
, it even can be unreturnable.
In conclusion, it can be deduced that the more society members consult with experts to maintain good physical and mental health
, the more benefit they can gain.Submitted by samirakasraee72 on
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task achievement
While your arguments are clear and mostly comprehensive, ensure that all points are supported with highly relevant and specific examples. For example, consider adding more varied examples for both alternative medicine risks and general medicine procedures.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure is logical, and transitions are largely effective. However, to improve cohesion, aim to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively sums up the essay, but try to reinforce your main arguments slightly more to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion, clearly stating your position against the use of alternative medicines.
coherence cohesion
Good use of contrast throughout the body paragraphs to show different sides of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.