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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The age of information technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it. Eventually we will have a polarised society and this will lead to serious social problems.To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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In today's digital age,
technology
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 has revolutionized the way
people
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 communicate, live, and work.
However
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, some
people
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 are still not familiar with
this
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 trend and are reluctant to embrace it. The question of whether
such
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 differences contribute to a polarized society has become a matter of considerable debate. I agree with the viewpoint that
this
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 phenomenon will bring about negative issues in society. There are several indicators that many
people
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 have limited access to
technology
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due to
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 having a lower income or living in marginalized regions, which makes it difficult for them to access a wide range of technological information. In
such
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 cases,
this
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 leads to a digital divide, which, in turn, causes them to have no interest in tech-related matters. Over time, these
people
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 cannot stay updated with the latest knowledge, and
this
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 impedes their ability to interact with others.
Moreover
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,
this
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 digital divide
also
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 causes numerous adverse problems.
Firstly
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, when
people
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 are unwilling to learn new technological skills, it leads to the undermining of societal harmony.
For example
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, the elderly are typically keen to maintain the status quo and do not desire to learn new things,
such
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 as social media, streaming apps, and AI systems.
This
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 contributes to a gap between them and young
people
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. It not only influences the quality of interaction but
also
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 makes it hard to gain a deeper understanding of each other, all of which are detrimental outcomes.
However
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, it is undeniable that
technology
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 still plays a key role in
people
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's lives and brings certain advantages,
such
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 as offering a variety of platforms that allow individuals to connect with their friends or family regardless of location. Despite these advantages, there is a serious problem:
people
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 prefer virtual interaction over real-life interactions.
This
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 contributes to artificial relationships
as well as
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 a lack of face-to-face conversations. In conclusion, the development of
technology
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 has impacted various aspects of life and generated a digital divide among
people
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 phenomenon
also
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 presents a variety of pressing issues.

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Task Achievement
To enhance your essay further, provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This would further strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all paragraphs are fully developed. Some of your arguments could benefit from deeper exploration and more elaboration. This would enhance clarity and comprehension.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly between paragraphs. While your essay is coherent overall, more varied and sophisticated transitional phrases can improve the flow between your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have clearly introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement in the introduction, setting the stage for your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clearly defined paragraphs that each focus on a single main point. This makes your essay easy to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing your overall argument.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task comprehensively, considering different aspects of the issue and providing a balanced viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented, and you effectively communicate the potential negative consequences of a digital divide, as well as some benefits of technology.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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