"In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?" Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
contemporary era, it is argued that more people
would choose their own country
for vacation rather than choosing other nations in future
. In my opinion, I completely agree with this
statement because,
it will help them to understand different cultures among their own nation and will reduce their other expenses for travelling abroad.
The primary reason why Remove the comma
apply
people
would choose their own nation over a foreign country
for holidays
is, to have a better understanding of their adjacent states and famous places
that now have become a great trend among all age groups. This
is because we have different native languages and have differences in traditional values and customs among other communities which are becoming very attractive to explore. Because of the advent of social media platforms people
are posting about famous places
and creating eagerness among others to experience a similar feeling. For instance
, most families visit Manali and Kashmir to experience the snow instead
of going to Switzerland for the same.Thus
, it shows that the mentality of the people
will change and in future
, this
will encourage them to have frequent visits to their desired places
in their own country
.
Secondly
, India is a diverse country
with multiple beautiful places
to explore. In the near future
, people
will choose to stay here for holidays
to avoid the expenses caused by flight charges, food expenses and other expenditures. The reason behind this
is, that individuals save a lot of money to spend their holidays
in a serene place, but considering the rise in costs nowadays not everyone will travel to another nation to enjoy their leisure period. However
, this
shows that more middle-class people
will not show interest in spending lots of money when they can have the same atmosphere here. For example
, A recent survey showed the statistics on reduced tourism to Bali in the last
5 years and a gradual surge in people
visiting Goa to have New Year parties and enjoyments. Hence
, people
will adopt and change their minds to have a cost-effective holiday.
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that most people
would choose their own land for holidays
and family tours before exploring others in future
because it will help to understand the traditional values and importance of other states equally and to reduce other barriers such
as travelling costs which can be utilised very effectively by having the same kind of enjoyment in their own country
.Submitted by chandralekha1993 on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-written, consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability. For example, you could break down longer sentences or combine shorter ones for diversity. This will make the essay flow more naturally and keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph only addresses one main idea. While your paragraphs are mostly well-focused, there are instances where sub-points could be better organized. For example, separate the discussion about social media influence from cultural understanding for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay nicely and give it a coherent structure. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported by relevant examples. For instance, referencing the trend of families visiting Manali and Kashmir instead of Switzerland makes your argument more persuasive and relatable.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses various facets of the topic, such as cultural understanding and cost savings, which demonstrate a comprehensive response to the task. This shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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