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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays many people chose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

#people #self #work #company #organisation #case
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There is a trend these days for individuals to opt for self-employment
instead
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 of being an employee in an organization mainly because of the flexible work routine and in order to avoid strict rules.
Although
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 it has some merits, there are many drawbacks as well including a sedentary lifestyle and lack of incentives in the job. On the one hand, there are many folks who prefer to be independent in their work schedule, so that, they can plan things
according to
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 their own choice
such
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 as the liberty to wake up late in the morning to start their daily routine.
In addition
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, some people don't want to take orders from a boss and they
also
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 want freedom from the tough regulations that accompany an office job.To illustrate
this
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, my cousin who was an assistant manager in a bank used to get written warnings from his superior on almost a weekly basis for not finishing the tasks on time or coming late in the morning.He
finally
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 had to quit the post and start doing his own business.
On the other hand
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, there is a tendency for self-occupied people to be lazy and lethargic.When no one is there to keep a check on them, they tend to be less active and energetic, which can lead to multiple health problems.One of my uncles, who runs a shop of his own in the city centre has gained so much weight after prolonged sitting that he can hardly manage to move around.
Moreover
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, independent workers cannot enjoy the perks and privileges offered by an institution.Many organizations like the Defence Department of Pakistan provide health, insurance and recreational packages for the welfare of employees and their families.
Furthermore
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, solo workers cannot afford to be away from their work for a long duration
due to
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 financial constraints.
On the contrary
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, the salaried class can avail many months of paid leave for their private affairs.My colleague in a government hospital goes on recreational leave every two months to spend quality time with his family. In conclusion, entrepreneurship has its ups and downs which many consider not worth risking job security
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expression
Consider rephrasing sentences that are a bit awkward to improve fluency.
grammar
Try using a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate language flexibility.
presentation
Maintain consistency in formatting (e.g., spacing) to enhance the professional presentation of your essay.
task response
Your essay effectively outlines both sides of the issue, showing a good understanding of the task.
task response
Your use of examples to support your points adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay maintains a logical flow that guides the reader through your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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