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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following pie charts show the main modes of transportation people used to to travel to university for work or study in 2004 and 2009.

The following pie charts show the main modes of transportation people used to to travel to university for work or study in 2004 and 2009.
#show #modes #transportation #people #travel #university #work #study
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The supplied pie charts
indicates
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indicate
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 the various majors of transportation which
people
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 got accustomed to travelling to
university
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 for
job
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a job
the job
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 or study over a five-year period. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest
percentage
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 of ways to move
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university
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to university
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 was
car
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by car
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 and bus.
However
Linking Words
,
people
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 did not use to travel to
university
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 by train over the period. In 2004,nearly half of
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people
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the people
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 (%51) tended to go to
university
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 by
their
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apply
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car (which was the highest
percentage
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 of ways of transportation over the period),just ahead of the number of students who were
into
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apply
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travelling to
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university
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the university
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 by bus at %46 in 2009.
Moreover
Linking Words
,precisely a third of
people
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 (%33) preferred to move to
university
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 by bus in 2004,compared to the
percentage
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 of
people
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 who liked to travel to
university
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 by car at %28 in 2009.
In contrast
Linking Words
,going to
university
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by
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on
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 foot in 2004 was a bit as popular as walking to
university
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 in 2009 at %4 and %6,respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
,only a fraction of
people
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 chose to go to
university
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at
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apply
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%3 in 2004.(Which was the lowest
percentage
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 of transportation modes over the whole year).
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, university, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • means of transport
  • commuting patterns
  • sustainable travel
  • urban congestion
  • public transportation
  • private vehicles
  • carpooling
  • urban infrastructure
  • environmental impact
  • modal shift
  • cyclists
  • pedestrians
  • traffic volume
  • ride-sharing
  • policy initiatives
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