Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is well known that several species of wild creatures are almost extinct and others have similar patterns. The main reasons for a

such

Linking Words

tendency are poachers and ecological problems.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, governments can make stricter laws and

overall

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people all around the globe should tackle the environmental issue. Throughout history, a large number of wildlife was killed for money. Certainly, aristocrats tended to buy fur from endangered animals because they were harder to get.

Therefore

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, beasts that lived only in specific regions became extinct fast,

due to

Linking Words

hunters.

Secondly

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, fauna is greatly harmed by the condition of our planet and problems,

such

Linking Words

as global warming. Temperature in many areas increased drastically

last

Linking Words

years, so vulnerable species, especially fish, were

also

Linking Words

damaged and lost their common places of living.

However

Linking Words

, local forces have many opportunities to change the situation.

For instance

Linking Words

, they can control better murdering of creatures that are protected by laws. I believe that governments should make sentences far more severe.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, councils should invent new laws that restrict pollution.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, common citizens and private companies must obey these rules and do everything they can to help.

For example

Linking Words

, companies may invent in using renewable energy, like solar panels and wind turbines, because they are completely safe for the environment.

To conclude

Linking Words

, human's greed to have the rarest and the largest collections of animals in their houses and the list of ecological problems have an impact on the extinction of wildlife.

However

Linking Words

, there are ways to address

this

Linking Words

state, mainly the persecution of hunters and being

overall

Linking Words

more eco-friendly.

Submitted by leshchynser on Sun Oct 27 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to elaborate further on examples to provide more depth to your arguments. Adding more specific examples can strengthen your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and contributes to the essay’s overall argument. Consider adding transitional phrases to improve flow.

Task Achievement

The essay successfully addresses both reasons for animal extinction and solutions, maintaining focus on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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