The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#government #retirees #support #care #people #citizens #money

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Retirement

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is a significant phase in life where financial stability is crucial. There are different opinions on who should be responsible for providing financial

support

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retirees

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. Some believe it is the

government

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's duty,

while

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others argue that

individuals

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should save money to take care of themselves in old age. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. One view is that the

government

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should provide financial

support

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retirees

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First,

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this

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would ensure a social safety net for all citizens, especially those who are unable to save enough during their working years.

For example

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, low-income workers may not have the means to save for

retirement

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Second,

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it promotes equality and fairness in society. Everyone, regardless of their income level, would have access to financial

support

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in old age.

Finally

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, it can contribute to economic stability, as

retirees

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with secure incomes are more likely to spend money, thereby boosting the economy.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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think that

individuals

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should save money for their

retirement

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. They argue that personal responsibility is important. Each person should plan and save for their future needs.

Moreover

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, it allows for freedom of choice.

People

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can decide how much they want to save and how they want to spend their

retirement

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funds.

Additionally

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, it reduces the burden on

government

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resources. If more

people

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save for themselves, the

government

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can use its funds for other important areas like healthcare and education. In my opinion, there should be a balance between both approaches. The

government

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should provide a basic level of financial

support

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to ensure that no one falls into poverty in their old age. At the same time,

individuals

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should

also

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be encouraged to save for their

retirement

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to supplement

this

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support

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For instance

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, the

government

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can offer tax incentives for

retirement

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savings to motivate

people

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to save more. In conclusion, both the

government

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and

individuals

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have roles to play in providing financial

support

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for

retirees

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While

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the

government

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can ensure a safety net for all,

individuals

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should

also

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take responsibility for their own financial future. A combined approach can help achieve a secure and dignified

retirement

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for everyone.

Submitted by chartakinnovation on Mon Aug 05 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that examples provided are detailed and varied to strengthen your argument further. While the example of low-income workers is relevant, more diverse scenarios could be included.

coherence cohesion

Try to use more sophisticated linking devices to enhance the flow of the essay. While the essay is coherent, varied use of connectors and cohesive devices could improve the overall reading experience.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, discussing both viewpoints effectively and offering a well-reasoned opinion.

coherence cohesion

The structure is logical, with a strong introduction, well-developed main points, and a conclusive ending that ties the essay together nicely.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

358 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government responsibility
financial support
care
retirees
personal responsibility
retirement planning
social security
pension
benefits
concerns
dependency
adequate savings
elderly citizens
burden
welfare system
poverty
social safety net
financial stability
public funds
sustainable
reliable
case study
Japan
Sweden
United States

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The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some people believe that the increasing use of the computers and the mobile phones has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills, TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this

Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself.