Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people argue that
zoos
are harmful and should be eliminated, while
others believe that zoos
are important for protecting species. Although
zoos
can play a role in saving animals
, I believe that keeping animals
in confined spaces with limited room for movement is unpleasant and unethical.
On the one hand, zoos
are excellent places for protecting endangered animals
. Many wild animals
are becoming increasingly rare in nature, and numerous poachers hunt them for profit in dark markets. Therefore
, zoos
can be a clever solution for conservation. For example
, snow leopards in southeastern Kazakhstan were on the brink of extinction, but the government of Almaty took some of these animals
and protected them in zoos
. Of course, their population is not large but this
effort has helped prevent their complete disappearance.
On the other hand
, zoos
often provide limited and cramped spaces for animals
. This
confinement can prevent them from experiencing positive emotions and can lead to stress and depression. For instance
, in China, a panda named Hoo Zai lived in a zoo from birth. When the zoo workers decided to release him into the wild, they found that the panda was much happier and healthier after a few months in the natural forest compared to his time in the zoo.
In conclusion, while
zoos
can protect animals
from immediate dangers, their mental well-being and the preservation of their natural behavior
and essence are more important. It is recommended that we consider Change the spelling
behaviour
animals
' freedom and prioritize their well-being in the future.Submitted by Kawasaki on
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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, incorporate a more balanced evaluation of both sides. Currently, the essay leans more towards the argument against zoos. Providing a more detailed analysis of the benefits of zoos will make your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that all paragraphs flow naturally from one to the next. For example, you might use more transitional phrases to connect ideas and reinforce the connections between points. This will improve the overall structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position, making it easy for readers to understand your argument.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided are relevant and illustrate your points well, particularly the examples of the snow leopards and the panda named Hoo Zai.
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