Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.
Protecting wild animals and birds is one of the many responsibilities that the government prioritizes.
However
, it might face difficult challenges from public opinion due to
too much attention and funds put into a non-profitable policy. In my perspective, this
has more advantages than drawbacks.
White
it is true that giving money for preserving wild species may not create profit for the economy but the long-term stability to maintain some rare species which have a risk of close to extinction. Preventing deforestation Correct your spelling
While
also
saves green space and increases diversity in the biosphere. Humans will be adversely impacted if certain animal species are to become extinct. For instance
, bees are one of the main sources of creating a variety of foods without them humanity cannot survive within two weeks.
Moreover
, the significant increase in population around the world which
makes the tourism industry Correct pronoun usage
apply
become
more viable Verb problem
apply
consequently
animals and birds are kept in zoos and sanctuaries to provide for tourists. As a result
, this
creates numerous jobs and sources of earning income for local people. Furthermore
, it can also
significantly contribute to economic growth in that nation. For example
, Thailand's main source of economy is the tourism industry and has considerable
number of forests for wildlife and uses that to encourage many tourists to visit and have the best experience there.
In conclusion, Change the article
a considerable
the considerable
although
there are still arguments about what should be done for persevering wild animals and birds. I think the government should care about them to put some investment in but not too far to make the overall
country's financial situation even worse.Submitted by prinkarn333 on
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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the task more comprehensively. You mentioned both sides of the argument but could elaborate more on why you believe the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by linking your ideas more clearly. You have a good introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs could benefit from more logical connectors and clearer topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
task response
Your essay covers several relevant points and examples, which strengthens your argument.