Some people claim that too much focus and resources have been spent to protect wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

#people #focus #resources #animals #birds

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Protecting wild animals and birds is one of the many responsibilities that the government prioritizes.

However

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, it might face difficult challenges from public opinion

due to

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too much attention and funds put into a non-profitable policy. In my perspective,

this

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has more advantages than drawbacks.

White

Correct your spelling

While

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it is true that giving money for preserving wild species may not create profit for the economy but the long-term stability to maintain some rare species which have a risk of close to extinction. Preventing deforestation

also

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saves green space and increases diversity in the biosphere. Humans will be adversely impacted if certain animal species are to become extinct.

For instance

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, bees are one of the main sources of creating a variety of foods without them humanity cannot survive within two weeks.

Moreover

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, the significant increase in population around the world

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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makes the tourism industry

become

Verb problem

apply

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more viable

consequently

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animals and birds are kept in zoos and sanctuaries to provide for tourists.

As a result

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this

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creates numerous jobs and sources of earning income for local people.

Furthermore

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, it can

also

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significantly contribute to economic growth in that nation.

For example

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, Thailand's main source of economy is the tourism industry and has

considerable

Change the article

a considerable

the considerable

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number of forests for wildlife and uses that to encourage many tourists to visit and have the best experience there. In conclusion,

although

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there are still arguments about what should be done for persevering wild animals and birds. I think the government should care about them to put some investment in but not too far to make the

overall

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country's financial situation even worse.

Submitted by prinkarn333 on Mon Aug 05 2024

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task response

Make sure to address all parts of the task more comprehensively. You mentioned both sides of the argument but could elaborate more on why you believe the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

coherence cohesion

Improve the structure of your essay by linking your ideas more clearly. You have a good introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs could benefit from more logical connectors and clearer topic sentences.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.

task response

Your essay covers several relevant points and examples, which strengthens your argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wildlife conservation
ecosystem preservation
sustainable development
biodiversity
habitat destruction
ecological balance
ethical responsibility
economic benefits
endangered species
poaching
education and awareness

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