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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have the opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development
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Many years ago majority of the students preferred to gain a degree in their hometowns
while
 currently, people have more options for a university education. There are some pros and cons related to
this
 new development. The striking advantage of abroad studies is an international environment. Generally, if you study abroad, you know people from many countries. Having these international connections can be beneficial for future life.
For instance
, if I had not spent one academic year in Budapest, getting my double degree program there, I would not have had the opportunity to travel to different countries where I could be hosted by my new friends.
Moreover
, if you study in another
country
, you are forced to adapt to a new culture and new conditions.
Due to
this
, you boost your confidence, develop some soft skills and broaden your mind.
Furthermore
, international experience gives the chance to travel and make new unforgettable memories.
However
, you can face some difficulties
while
 studying abroad. Moving to a new
country
 alone
,
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 may seem complicated for some students. First of all, you have to communicate in a foreign language, depending on the
country
 where you move, or at least in English. Not everyone is willing to study a new language.
Moreover
, not only can the language but
also
 the culture of a new
country
 be a barrier.
For example
, in Spain locals have "Siesta" - the time of the day when they take rest. Usually, it lasts for 2-3 hours after lunchtime.
Therefore
, most of the supermarkets, different services or even restaurants can be closed, so you should be aware of
this
.
Overall
, nowadays most of the students have the chance to get their university degree abroad. Despite it has some obstacles that they may face , it allows them broader opportunities and perspectives.
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task achievement
While your essay is clear and comprehensive, consider providing a bit more depth in discussing the disadvantages. A more balanced discussion could enhance your task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly by using linking phrases and conjunctions appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and sentence structure to improve clarity. Also, it's beneficial to expand on some ideas to provide deeper insights.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your discussion.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the experience in Budapest and the cultural aspect of Spain, adds depth and relevance to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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