IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Other disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In recent days, debate about the possibility that a
country
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 can achieve economic success
while
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 maintaining a green
environment
Use synonyms
 has grown considerably.
While
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 some people believe that a prosperous
country
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 inevitably leads to environmental problems, others say that with appropriate policies, a
country
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 can have
both
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 economic success and a clean nature. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
both
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 views before presenting my own side of the discussion On the one hand, there are various compelling reasons why a progressive
country
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 often comes with environmental issues. First and foremost,
this
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 can result in a growth in pollution as these countries are likely to spend much of their money on facilities rather than on the
environment
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.
For instance
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, in England, there are huge amounts of carbon dioxide emitted from vehicles, contributing to air pollution.
Moreover
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, focusing on economic development will lead to an increased demand for resources like plastic consumption which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 soil pollution
On the other hand
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, there is evidence to suggest that economic success and environmental preservation can
both
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 exist. More specifically, if the government establishes policies for protecting nature, the economy will increase at the same time. One example of
this
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 is Japan, it is known as one of the go-to places for tourists because of its greenery, and to do
this
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, the government has to raise awareness among individuals about environmental protection. Notably, some countries are manufacturing eco-friendly products that can have advantages for the economy and
environment
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.
For example
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, a ban on plastic products from England and China not only has an impact on natural conservation but
also
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 fosters economic opportunities
such
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 as the production of fabric bags. In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that it can be possible for a
country
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 to be
both
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 successful in economy and have a clean
environment
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 at the same time

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task achievement
Your essay presents both views and your opinion, but the development of each point could be more extensive and detailed to fully satisfy the task requirements. Aim to explore the ideas and examples given in greater depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure by planning out how each paragraph will flow from one to the next. While there is some organization, it lacks complexity in linking ideas and supporting points for an engaging argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking devices and transitional phrases to show how the points relate to each other within paragraphs and across the essay as a whole.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economically successful
  • Clean environment
  • Sustainable practices
  • Green technologies
  • Eco-tourism
  • Healthier workforce
  • Healthcare costs
  • Short-term economic growth
  • Profit over environment
  • Heavy industries
  • Developing countries
  • Sacrifice
  • Economic development
  • Transitioning
  • Balance
  • Sustainable development
  • International cooperation
  • Incentivize
  • Eco-friendly business practices
  • Investment in education
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