Nowadays a lot of people enjoy watching TV. Do you think the advantage of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantage?

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At present, a great number of individuals prefer to watch

sports

events or matches on television. In my opinion, I consider that watching

sports

can bring about more advantages for watchers compared to any problems it might cause. Admittedly, there are significant benefits to people watching

sports

Firstly

, watching

sports

on television is much cheaper than going to the

stadium

and buying a ticket.

In other words

, the viewer can save money by observing

sports

events at home.

Consequently

, saving money might occur by watching

sports

instead

of going to the

stadium

Secondly

, watching matches or

sports

at home may be more accurate and comfortable.

This

is because they are sitting in their own home, which means they can sit as they wish.

Furthermore

, they can invite whomever they want freely so as to have fun.

Nevertheless

, despite the advantages above, I think people could face slight drawbacks from watching

sports

. One problem is that it might be a lack of enjoyment.

Additionally

, people who watch the matches on

do not get enough excitement because they do not have the cheer and hustle

that is

in the

stadium

For instance

, watching the matches in the

stadium

makes the match even more exciting as you cheer, sing, and do activities with other spectators. Another negative aspect that can be caused by watching

sports

is health issues. Spending long hours watching

Change preposition

apply

show examples

can have a negative effect on physical health,

such

as an inactive lifestyle and the possibility of obesity and sight issues.

Subsequently

, observing many matches on

can cause health issues. In conclusion, viewers can get more comfort and relaxation when watching

sports

instead

of going to the

stadium

Submitted by s_syedy on Wed Aug 07 2024

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task response

To improve task response, you could enhance the depth of your analysis by including more specific examples or data. For example, you might cite statistics about viewership or the average costs of attending live sports events.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, consider using a greater variety of linking phrases and words to ensure smoother transitions between points. This can make your argument flow more naturally.

coherence and cohesion

Work on refining your conclusion to make it more robust, perhaps summarizing key points from the essay more effectively to reinforce your argument.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs and a logical structure, making it easy to follow your argument.

task response

You effectively outlined both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

task response

Your sentences are clear and understandable, demonstrating a good command of English.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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