Some people believe that criminals should be put into prison as long as possible. However, others believe that it is necessary to educate those people in local community. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
criminals
Use synonyms
should be put into prison as long as possible.
However
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
think that it is necessary to educate those
people
Use synonyms
in the local community.In my opinion, it is necessary to educate those
people
Use synonyms
in the local community. If the
people
Use synonyms
who have committed crime are punished as long as possible
then
Linking Words
there will be no chance that they will become a better version of themself.
In addition
Linking Words
,Whoever commits a crime will not even try to be a good human because he knows that he is going to be punished forever.
For example
Linking Words
,Studies have shown that 72% of
people
Use synonyms
know that they will be punished as long as they are alive.They do not try to improve themself.
However
Linking Words
, they even become worse and commit more crimes inside the jail.So, It is useless to punish
criminals
Use synonyms
as long as possible.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,If
criminals
Use synonyms
are educated in local communities they can become good human beings again because they know if they get an education and become a good
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
they will be released and will have a chance to become a good
pedestrian
Fix the agreement mistake
pedestrians
show examples
again that can live their life
according to
Linking Words
himself.
For instance
Linking Words
.
According to
Linking Words
a report by the FBI, 45% of
criminals
Use synonyms
that are released after being educated have become good
people
Use synonyms
again in society and they are away from even small evils that are common in those areas.So, giving a criminal a good education can give society a good person who was once a criminal. In conclusion,My opinion is that it is necessary to educate
criminals
Use synonyms
to make them good
people
Use synonyms
.We can clearly see in
this
Linking Words
essay giving
criminals
Use synonyms
punishments does not make anything right.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and distinct structure in each paragraph, with topic sentences guiding the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and transitions to make the essay flow better. This will help in making your arguments clearer and more connected.
task achievement
Include more specific and diverse examples to strengthen your arguments. Make sure examples are directly linked to your main points.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively and ensure there is depth in each paragraph. This will make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, meeting the requirements of the task.
coherence cohesion
A clear conclusion is present, summarizing your position well.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: