The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences and only governmental actions can solve the problem. Do you agree views and express your own opinion

#shortage #cities #consequences #actions

Today, many major cities don’t offer sufficient accommodations for citizens to live in, for

this

issue only

government

can fix. In my opinion, I agree with

this

view, but I

also

believe that addressing the housing issue requires joint efforts from multiple parties.

Firstly

, the housing shortage in urban areas can cause a series of serious problems. Lack of housing will increase the costs and renting, it will lead the medium income families to afford to buy a house,

then

will have more homelessness, an inequality of social and more stressful of economic of the public.

Besides

, an insufficient of people may affect the development of

central

Add an article

the central

show examples

city, because the high costs of housing might cause skilled people to go to other cities and companies hard to

attracting

Change the form of the verb

attract

show examples

new employees. The

government

plays a crucial role in

this

trouble of residences. The

government

could establish and apply policies to control the housing market,

provide

Correct word choice

and provide

show examples

more economic housing and low-price housing, to ensure that the low-salary crew can buy a house and satisfy their needs. Simultaneously, the state can plan and build new accommodation areas and increase the housing provided.

However

, only the action of the

government

might be insufficient to solve

this

complex trouble. The participation of private businesses is

also

essential. Developers could provide better qualities and supply

use

Verb problem

apply

show examples

new designs that for user-friendly and new architectural technology. In conclusion,

while

the intervention of the

government

is the key point to address the issues of accommodation, the joining of multiple parties and comprehensive measures is the better way.

Submitted by 57025371 on Thu Aug 08 2024

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task response

Try to refine your introduction to make it clearer and more direct. For example, rephrase 'for this issue only government can fix' to 'this issue can only be fixed by government intervention.'

task response

Provide more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points. For instance, reference specific policies or real-world examples of government intervention in housing markets.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea. The third paragraph jumps between several points, making it less cohesive. Try to split such paragraphs for better clarity.

task response

The essay effectively presents the double-sided argument, acknowledging both the role of government and the importance of private sector involvement.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion neatly frame the essay, providing a clear start and finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

affordable housing
urban sprawl
sustainable development
public health
community well-being
housing policies
overcrowding
homelessness
economic impact
cost of living
government intervention
private sector
profit motives
housing shortage
urban planning
incentives
low-income families

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The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences and only governmental actions can solve the problem. Do you agree views and express your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some believe that the development of technology and improved software allow us to translate between language automatically. Therefore, it is not necessary to learn foreign languages any more. Do you agree or disagree?

In some societies, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might the parental role develop in the future?