There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter: • describe what the problem with the changing rooms is • say what happened the last times you complained • explain what you want the manager to do.

#rooms #sports #centre #visit #times #success #manager

Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing

this

letter to express my complaint about the changing room at your sports centre. I sent my request several times by email.

Thus

, I could not receive a successful answer from your side.

To begin

with, it is crucial to clarify that the ventilation system is not working properly. So, it is vital to fix it as it is necessary for athletes.

Moreover

, the door of the changing room has broken recently.

Therefore

, it is better to change it to another one. Unfortunately, it was two weeks ago that I sent my complaint letter by email to your customer service department.

However

, I could not find a clear answer.

Also

, when I called them, they told me that they had not received my email yet. I would like to ask you to provide a better atmosphere for us with some actions,

such

as improving the air-conditioning system.

Additionally

, it would be a great idea if you added a call centre for your gym to accept constructive complaints. I am eagerly looking forward to hearing your response in

this

matter. Best Regards, Ali

Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on Sat Aug 10 2024

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task achievement

You have clearly described the problem with the ventilation system and the broken door. Perhaps you could be a bit more specific regarding how these issues are affecting the users of the changing room.

coherence cohesion

While each paragraph has a single idea, adding more varied sentence structures could enhance readability and engagement.

task achievement

The letter has a suitable and polite writing tone, which is appropriate for addressing a complaint to a manager.

coherence cohesion

Your letter is well-structured with a clear greeting, body paragraphs, and a closing remark.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

189 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

frequent user
specific issues
cleanliness
hygiene
broken facilities
lack of supplies
address the issue
response
emphasize
well-maintained
comfort
hygiene
politely
firmly
request
resolve
prompt resolution
discuss

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