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Writing Samples /
Band 8

There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter: • describe what the problem with the changing rooms is • say what happened the last times you complained • explain what you want the manager to do.

#rooms #sports #centre #visit #times #success #manager
Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to express my complaint about the changing room at your sports centre. I sent my request several times by email.
Thus
, I could not receive a successful answer from your side.
To begin
 with, it is crucial to clarify that the ventilation system is not working properly. So, it is vital to fix it as it is necessary for athletes.
Moreover
, the door of the changing room has broken recently.
Therefore
, it is better to change it to another one. Unfortunately, it was two weeks ago that I sent my complaint letter by email to your customer service department.
However
, I could not find a clear answer.
Also
, when I called them, they told me that they had not received my email yet. I would like to ask you to provide a better atmosphere for us with some actions,
such
 as improving the air-conditioning system.
Additionally
, it would be a great idea if you added a call centre for your gym to accept constructive complaints. I am eagerly looking forward to hearing your response in
this
 matter. Best Regards, Ali
Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on

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task achievement
You have clearly described the problem with the ventilation system and the broken door. Perhaps you could be a bit more specific regarding how these issues are affecting the users of the changing room.
coherence cohesion
While each paragraph has a single idea, adding more varied sentence structures could enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
The letter has a suitable and polite writing tone, which is appropriate for addressing a complaint to a manager.
coherence cohesion
Your letter is well-structured with a clear greeting, body paragraphs, and a closing remark.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • frequent user
  • specific issues
  • cleanliness
  • hygiene
  • broken facilities
  • lack of supplies
  • address the issue
  • response
  • emphasize
  • well-maintained
  • comfort
  • hygiene
  • politely
  • firmly
  • request
  • resolve
  • prompt resolution
  • discuss
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