The diagram shows the life cycle of honey bee.

The diagram shows the life cycle of honey bee.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates the cycle of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
honey bee’ life. Including 4 steps: Egg, Nymph, Young adult and adult. All these steps take about 1 month
for developing
Change preposition
to develop
show examples
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
body of
this
Linking Words
kind of insect.
Overall
Linking Words
, female
bees
Use synonyms
lay
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
small amount of eggs in constant frequency.the biggest part of the cycle is
nymph
Correct article usage
the nymph
show examples
phase which takes
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
time in their life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have very short periods to mature and start the cycle again. Mother
bees
Use synonyms
reproduce 1 or 2 eggs every 3 days before
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
to the next stage, hatching after 9-10 days. After that, little
bees
Use synonyms
come out of their shell and start consuming plenty of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
for growing
Change preposition
to grow
show examples
up.Following,
nymph’s
Correct article usage
the nymph’s
show examples
skin starts to peel off and make it 3 times bigger than usual.
Finally
Linking Words
, young
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
is emerged
Wrong verb form
emerge
show examples
and
evolves
Correct subject-verb agreement
evolve
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full scale
Add a hyphen
full-scale
show examples
generations, taking
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
short duration, around 4 days. Full
bees
Use synonyms
go to
reproduction
Correct article usage
the reproduction
show examples
period, and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
start all these stages again
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every 72 hours.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bees with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: