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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments.

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Nowadays, many animal advocates assert that conducting experiments on animals is a brutal activity that must be stopped as soon as possible.
Additionally
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, these experiments are crucial to saving human lives, and
moreover
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, there are several compelling reasons that justify these activities.
Nevertheless
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, I am certain it is unfair for other creatures to bear the cost of human existence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth, and
thus
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, there is a better
alternative
Use synonyms
 for
this
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 purpose.
Firstly
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, there is no way to eliminate the testing step from the manufacturing process of a product, as it is crucial to assess the quality of a product before selling it in large quantities.
Similarly
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, one of the low-cost options for
this
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 purpose is the use of animal samples. Using animals can save money and time, as they have shorter lifespans and reach maturity quickly.
For instance
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, mice have a 2-year life cycle, allowing scientists to quickly breed subsequent generations.
Furthermore
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, mice are biologically similar to humans, which makes the results much more reliable.
Conversely
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, humans might be a better
alternative
Use synonyms
 for these activities. Currently, some individuals with chronic illnesses choose to end their lives autonomously. Specifically, institutions could offer voluntary participation in crucial experiments to those who have already decided to end their lives, with the hope that their contribution might save others. Importantly,
this
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alternative
Use synonyms
 not only respects the autonomy of
such
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 individuals but
also
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 potentially enhances the relevance and applicability of research results to human health. In conclusion, utilizing animals in laboratories is a logical decision;
however
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, providing the option for individuals to voluntarily donate their bodies for scientific research before they die could
also
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 be a humane and beneficial
alternative
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
While your essay presents a balanced view on animal experimentation and introduces the alternative of voluntary human participation effectively, consider expanding the counter-arguments a bit more to deepen the analysis.
coherence cohesion
Enhance smooth transitions between ideas. While the essay flows well, linking words such as 'however', 'moreover', and 'therefore' could be used more strategically to further improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure grammatical variety and accuracy. Your essay reads clearly, but increasingly diverse sentence structures could elevate it further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The arguments presented are thorough and well-supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and offers a thoughtful, humane alternative to animal testing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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