Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. Discuss both the view with your opinion.

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It is undeniable that in
this
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era of talent, more and more individuals believe a popular sportsman comes from natural talents.
However
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, others say
this
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talent appears by working hard. Ergo,
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essay will highlight both arguments regarding the phenomenon which concerns natural hobbies and work hard, and will
also
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provide relevant examples in insights. On the one hand, natural talents play a crucial role in the life of a sportsman. The major reason behind
this
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situation is that fitness.
Moreover
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, most members of the community have speed and are clever in playing certain games.
For example
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,
according to
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a study at the University of Nizwa in 2019 showed large fractions of students in Nizwa won by golden prize in playing chess and football in the
last
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couple of years.
Thus
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, the outcomes of
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event caused success in the sports field.
On the other hand
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, several residents train every day in their stadium to improve and become famous people in sports aspect. To demonstrate more, children in a small Region have a wonderful coach to teach them some practical measures,
for instance
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, how to do gymnastics or athletics.
Hence
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, they move to hard work on a great hall to acquire skills.
Additionally
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, a report by the UNESCO survey indicated that 75% of students in the public schools could do a variety of activities after doing hard in the centres. As a sequence,
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training could definitely develop these skills. In conclusion, no doubt in
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era of neck-to-neck competition, both views play vital roles in our lives.
In addition
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, natural talents assist people to work hard to become the best player in their countries, these can be lessened by some immediate steps by the government and citizens.
Overall
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, the government encourage individuals to improve their abilities and
this
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opportunity to communicate with different people.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction provides a clear outline of the discussion but could benefit from a more straightforward thesis statement that summarizes your opinion more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to ensure that your paragraphs logically flow into one another. Linking phrases and clearer topic sentences could help with this.
Task Achievement
While you include some examples, be careful with ensuring they are accurately referenced and clearly relevant to your point.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced discussion of both views, which is commendable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well and emphasizes the importance of both talent and hard work.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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