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Band 8

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

#countries #schools #student #behaviour
In some nations, schools are increasingly facing challenges related to learner behaviour. These issues disrupt not only the educational environment but
also
 affect the learning process for both students and teachers. In
this
 essay, I will explore some potential causes of learner manner and provide viable solutions associated with these difficulties. One primary cause of student behaviour is the lack of parental involvement.
This
 problem may happen because they are either too busy with their work or not engaged with their
children
's education, leading to a lack of discipline and guidance at home.
As a result
, it could influence pupil's educational performance at schools.
In addition
 to
this
, the rise of technology may lead to these obstacles, particularly the bad influence of social media
as well as
 video games.
For example
, many
children
 get addicted surfing to the internet, spending hours each day playing computer games and scrolling through Instagram without any purpose. Digital media,
therefore
, may have a bad influence on them, affecting their concentration on studying.
However
, these problems can be tackled by some possible actions.
Firstly
, a great collaboration between school and parents is
such
 a potential solution that can be implemented. Conducting regular meetings and workshops for parents,
for instance
, can increase their comprehensive understanding of their
children
's educational progress.
Thus
, students' performance is monitored eventually.
Moreover
, introducing digital literacy programs would be a good move to prevent the misuse of online platforms. In conclusion,
although
 some possible causes may lead to
children
's attitudes, there are potential solutions to solve these issues,
such
 as school-parent collaborative initiatives and technology literacy projects.
Submitted by mohamadazhariazar on

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a more detailed explanation and examples for each cause and solution. This would provide a clearer and more comprehensive understanding of the issues and proposed solutions.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will contribute to better coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors, such as 'learner manner' instead of 'learner behavior,' which can affect clarity. Proofreading can help minimize these issues.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed the question fully by discussing both causes of and solutions to student behavior issues.
task achievement
The language used is generally clear and appropriate for the task, contributing to effective communication of ideas.
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