IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us buy things. Other people think that is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the digital era, some individuals argue that
people
Use synonyms
 purchase
products
Use synonyms
 impacted by
advertisement
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others say that there
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
lot
Use synonyms
 of advertising
makes
Correct pronoun usage
that makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have not enough power to see it. I believe
advertisement
Use synonyms
 brings great benefits for encouraging individuals to buy more items than they need and it will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand,
advertisement
Use synonyms
 can be a powerful tool to persuade individuals to purchase
products
Use synonyms
 or services. There are a
Use synonyms
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 kinds of marketing strategies used with persuasive techniques in the
advertisement
Use synonyms
 to
influence
Use synonyms
 their audience to buy the
products
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the company should make a unique
advertisement
Use synonyms
 to increase sales.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays, there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of brands that endorse a famous artist to increase their income because they believe that artists can
influence
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 to buy their
products
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the widespread advertisements make it a normal thing and reduce
people
Use synonyms
’s pay attention to it. Some
people
Use synonyms
 may even choose to avoid or skip
ads
Use synonyms
 when they open social media or television because they see and hear a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
ads
Use synonyms
 in their daily lives.
Hence
Linking Words
, the main goal of
ads
Use synonyms
 is not complete because many
people
Use synonyms
 already feel not interested.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to choose “skip
ads
Use synonyms
” when they watch
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
 or television.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
advertisement
Use synonyms
 is a powerful tool to
influence
Use synonyms
 consumer decision- making and
also
Linking Words
 the company should change the ad format to be more unique to attract
people
Use synonyms
 to buy the product. In conclusion, nowadays, there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
ads
Use synonyms
 and it makes
people
Use synonyms
 feel not into it. I believe advertisements still be a powerful tool to
influence
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
's decision-making to buy a product with unique advertisements to attract more
people
Use synonyms
's attention to the product.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Continue to develop and refine your argument structure, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a clear main idea.
Task Achievement
To enhance the depth of your essays, consider incorporating more diverse and specific examples to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
Consider exploring contrasting viewpoints in more depth to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to ensuring variety in sentence structures to keep your writing engaging.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively presents a clear viewpoint and thoroughly discusses both sides of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a strong logical flow throughout your essay, which aids in the reader's understanding and engagement.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the endorsement of products by famous artists, enriches your argument and provides tangible evidence for your claims.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: