IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Every year millions of people around the world suffer from poor health as a result of air pollution. What do you think are the caused of this? What solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Talking about environmental issues one cannot avoid looking at the alarming increase in the number of people suffering from poor health
due to
Linking Words
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. In fact, its reasons are multiple and certainly, the solutions to accompany them are various as well. We will be taking a glance at them below. The first to mention in terms of reasons for
this
Linking Words
 discussion is overpopulation. No one can deny the fact that a dramatic rise in the number of people living on our planet has put severe pressure on housing and transportation, leading to deforestation for city expansion and the improvement of the transport infrastructure.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, our green lung which helps to purify the
air
Use synonyms
 and enrich oxygen storage for human beings is being destroyed.
That is
Linking Words
 not all, a huge amount of exhaust from industries and manufacturing activities is
also
Linking Words
 being released directly into the atmosphere every day, polluting the
air
Use synonyms
 with toxic chemicals. A case in point is that China is the nation having the largest population and the fastest industrial development but the highest level of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 in the world Potential ways to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem may include the following.
Initially
Linking Words
, the government should introduce new laws pertaining to
pollution
Use synonyms
 with stiff fines and punishments. Simultaneously, encouraging the use of renewable energy
while
Linking Words
 investing in
pollution
Use synonyms
 prevention technology may
also
Linking Words
 help to alleviate the situation. Another possible solution is for schools to teach children the importance of environmental protection and the damaging consequences of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 in order to raise their awareness.
Lastly
Linking Words
, parents are advised to set good role models so that the knowledge about
this
Linking Words
 burning issue children have acquired from school can be reinforced and applied correctly. In brief, the above problems of adverse impacts on human health caused by
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 bring in some discussion on the solutions. Indeed, the more effective ways to cope with
this
Linking Words
 issue should need a deeper consideration which is more or less beyond the scope of
this
Linking Words
 writing
due to
Linking Words
 time and length limit.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more varied examples to support your points, such as referencing other countries or specific data/statistics that illustrate the effects of air pollution.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity and coherence. For example, you could separate the discussion on overpopulation and industrial emissions into distinct paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well and maintaining reader engagement throughout.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the reference to China, effectively illustrates the points made and enhances the argument.
task achievement
The suggested solutions are practical and varied, showing a good understanding of different ways to address air pollution.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: