IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some countries require students to study foreign languages, while others think it is not necessary. Discuss both cases and give your opinion.

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Learning a new
language
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 is an important skill that a person should have
due to
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 its benefit to individuals in various fields,
such
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 as travel, work, and studying abroad. In some nations,
students
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 are required to study a foreign
language
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,
while
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 other countries believe it is not necessary. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the advantages of each case and give my opinion.
First,
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some countries have beneficial relationships by taking advantage of each other's resources. The way to strengthen the relationship is by learning the other nation's
language
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.
For instance
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, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has a partnership with China in big projects, so they establish
further
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 communication by offering Chinese
language
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 courses in Saudi universities.
Second,
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there are nations that claim that it is not essential for people to study new languages because it will allow
students
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 to focus on other fields,
for example
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, science, technology, and engineering, which can be beneficial for
students
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 to learn in-depth, resulting in advancement and innovation. Another benefit is that it may reduce the academic burden, allowing a more balanced and stress-free education. A good illustration of
this
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 is Tokyo University, which offers several courses in their native
language
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 to give the
students
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 a bigger chance of getting a higher GPA. In my opinion, a balanced approach might be the most effective where learning a foreign
language
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 is encouraged and not required.
This
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 gives
students
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 who are interested in languages the opportunity to pursue them
while
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 allowing others to concentrate on their preferred areas without pressure.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your points with more detailed examples and explanations to further demonstrate the relevance and importance of each argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which wrap up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The position is well-articulated and supported with relevant examples from different countries, such as Saudi Arabia and Tokyo University.
task achievement
The balanced approach proposed in the opinion adds to the depth of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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