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Writing Samples
Band 7

Machines have replaced physical work in many industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#machines #work #industries
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In the past, factories had to hire
workers
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 and give them payment. Today,
however
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,
machines
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 have increasingly taken over physical
work
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 in a wide range of industries. In my opinion, there are more benefits that the increasing number of robots brings to the factories than the problems to the society. It is undeniable that there are several advantages for the entrepreneurs that are bought by the
machines
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.
Firstly
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, it leads to increased efficiency and productivity. Compared with traditional
workers
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,
machines
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 can
work
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 continuously without getting tired or needing breaks,
however
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, humans need breaks. Obviously,
machines
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 can increase mass production in a fixed time,
thus
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 increasing production capacity.
Additionally
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, it enhances quality control.
That is
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 to say, people might get tired and feel bored when doing basic and simple
work
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,
while
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machines
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 do not have emotion, and can perform repetitive tasks with a high level of precision, which means that it is the best substitute for
workers
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 by minimizing the errors and ensuring consistent quality of products or services. All of these would bring benefits to the factories.
Although
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this
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 development could bring extra profit to the companies, there will be several undesirable outcomes for society. One concern is the job loss problem. As robots replace the role of physical
workers
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, at the same time, they have little knowledge, so they don’t have the ability to compete with
machines
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 and cannot get back into the workplace.
This
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 can eventually lead to an economic crisis, especially for those who lack the skills or resources to adapt.
However
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,
this
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 problem can be easily solved.
Workers
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 only need to retrain for new types of jobs. In conclusion, I believe that the trend of replacing
workers
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 with robots is a double blessing.
Although
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 the disadvantages of decreasing the employment rate cannot be ignored, the benefits of
machines
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 replacing physical
work
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 tend to be more significant.
Submitted by 2575444164 on

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear argument, it would benefit from more relevant and specific examples to support the main points. Including real-life scenarios or data would strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence of your essay, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words or phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed and clearly state your opinion, which gives a strong framework to your essay.
logical structure
The main points are logically structured and effectively presented.
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