Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to these problems?
In the current world, doctors have concluded that
people
in Use synonyms
this
society are not taking Linking Words
part
in regular exercises, resulting in Use synonyms
continuous
increase in Add an article
a continuous
unhealthy
and obese population. Some believe that behind Add an article
the unhealthy
an unhealthy
this
development primary reasons are hectic Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
schedule
and Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
advancement
in technology. Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
This
essay will explore the causes Linking Words
for
Change preposition
of
people
not taking Use synonyms
part
Use synonyms
physical
exercises and will provide Change preposition
in physical
solution
using specific examples.
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
To begin
with, Linking Words
people
do not feel motivated enough to Use synonyms
work
on themselves because of different reasons. Use synonyms
For instance
, Kids do not prefer to play outside Linking Words
due to
parents Linking Words
concerning
about their safety, Replace the word
concern
however
, Linking Words
this
later replaced with computer addiction in children and Linking Words
ending
their motivation to take Wrong verb form
ended
part
in any physical activity or Use synonyms
exercise
. Use synonyms
Similarly
, for adults, Linking Words
its
their hectic Replace the word
it's
it is
work
schedule, most Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
work
for long shifts to provide for their family. Use synonyms
The mental
exhaustion Correct article usage
Mental
reduce
motivation Change the verb form
reduces
restricts
Correct word choice
and restricts
people
Use synonyms
participate
in regular Change preposition
from participating
exercise
sessions. Use synonyms
Additionally
, the rising fast-food industry provides taste with unsaturated fats making Linking Words
people
obese, Use synonyms
this
often restricts Linking Words
people
as it makes them feel embarrassed in front of others. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
recent
pandemic accelerated Correct article usage
the recent
this
phenomenon significantly, enabling them Linking Words
in doing
their regular physical activities.
Change preposition
to do
However
, to overcome Linking Words
such
Linking Words
issue
, many countermeasures are present in Fix the agreement mistake
issues
the
society Correct article usage
apply
such
as physical education Linking Words
has become
compulsory for everyone, Wrong verb form
becoming
this
effort would spread awareness, provide knowledge and Linking Words
motivates
students and Correct subject-verb agreement
motivate
taking
Wrong verb form
take
part
in physical activities and sports. Use synonyms
Second,
league companies have initiated Linking Words
work
-life balance supporting schedules with therapy supports, Use synonyms
this
would improve Linking Words
employee’s
mental health and support in improving their lifestyle. Fix the agreement mistake
employees’
Additionally
. Companies Linking Words
such
as Uber Eats, Just Eat and many other food delivery companies Linking Words
provides
healthier options for Change the verb form
provide
corporate
population to avoid eating fast food and maintain their healthy lifestyle. Government Add an article
the corporate
a corporate
initiative
Change the noun form
initiatives
such
as Raha Giri in Delhi, India- A campaign to motivate Linking Words
people
and spread awareness to allow them to choose healthier options with weekly Use synonyms
exercise
sessions and fun activities Use synonyms
such
as dance, marathon and yoga.
In conclusion, Linking Words
Although
the current generation is observed to have a rise in unhealthy and obese population, Linking Words
however
, there are some countermeasures Linking Words
taken
place to overcome Wrong verb form
taking
this
problem. I believe Linking Words
government
could provide free Add an article
the government
playgrounds
facilities Change the noun form
playground
Linking Words
this
would significantly increase in Add the preposition
with this
people
Use synonyms
take
Wrong verb form
taking
part
in regular Use synonyms
exercise
sessions.Use synonyms
Submitted by nick
on
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas in a more logical structure. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as they can detract from the clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and explanations to make your points more convincing and well-supported.
task achievement
You have clearly identified relevant factors contributing to the lack of physical exercise in today's society.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?