Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to these problems?
In the current world, doctors have concluded that
people
in this
society are not taking part
in regular exercises, resulting in continuous
increase in Add an article
a continuous
unhealthy
and obese population. Some believe that behind Add an article
the unhealthy
an unhealthy
this
development primary reasons are hectic work
schedule
and Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
advancement
in technology. Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
This
essay will explore the causes for
Change preposition
of
people
not taking part
physical
exercises and will provide Change preposition
in physical
solution
using specific examples.
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
To begin
with, people
do not feel motivated enough to work
on themselves because of different reasons. For instance
, Kids do not prefer to play outside due to
parents concerning
about their safety, Replace the word
concern
however
, this
later replaced with computer addiction in children and ending
their motivation to take Wrong verb form
ended
part
in any physical activity or exercise
. Similarly
, for adults, its
their hectic Replace the word
it's
it is
work
schedule, most people
work
for long shifts to provide for their family. The mental
exhaustion Correct article usage
Mental
reduce
motivation Change the verb form
reduces
restricts
Correct word choice
and restricts
people
participate
in regular Change preposition
from participating
exercise
sessions. Additionally
, the rising fast-food industry provides taste with unsaturated fats making people
obese, this
often restricts people
as it makes them feel embarrassed in front of others. Furthermore
, recent
pandemic accelerated Correct article usage
the recent
this
phenomenon significantly, enabling them in doing
their regular physical activities.
Change preposition
to do
However
, to overcome such
issue
, many countermeasures are present in Fix the agreement mistake
issues
the
society Correct article usage
apply
such
as physical education has become
compulsory for everyone, Wrong verb form
becoming
this
effort would spread awareness, provide knowledge and motivates
students and Correct subject-verb agreement
motivate
taking
Wrong verb form
take
part
in physical activities and sports. Second,
league companies have initiated work
-life balance supporting schedules with therapy supports, this
would improve employee’s
mental health and support in improving their lifestyle. Fix the agreement mistake
employees’
Additionally
. Companies such
as Uber Eats, Just Eat and many other food delivery companies provides
healthier options for Change the verb form
provide
corporate
population to avoid eating fast food and maintain their healthy lifestyle. Government Add an article
the corporate
a corporate
initiative
Change the noun form
initiatives
such
as Raha Giri in Delhi, India- A campaign to motivate people
and spread awareness to allow them to choose healthier options with weekly exercise
sessions and fun activities such
as dance, marathon and yoga.
In conclusion, Although
the current generation is observed to have a rise in unhealthy and obese population, however
, there are some countermeasures taken
place to overcome Wrong verb form
taking
this
problem. I believe government
could provide free Add an article
the government
playgrounds
facilities Change the noun form
playground
this
would significantly increase in Add the preposition
with this
people
take
Wrong verb form
taking
part
in regular exercise
sessions.Submitted by nick
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas in a more logical structure. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as they can detract from the clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and explanations to make your points more convincing and well-supported.
task achievement
You have clearly identified relevant factors contributing to the lack of physical exercise in today's society.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?