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Writing Samples
Band 6

now people complaint that they have difficulties getting enough sleep What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

#people #complaint #difficulties #lack
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Nowadays, a large number of
people
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 are experiencing difficulties because of insufficient sleep. There is no doubt that
insomnia
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 can contribute to serious acute health conditions.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons why
people
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 face difficulties getting ample sleep and explain some measures to overcome them.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 who are unable to get enough sleep have less ability to make productive decisions in their work or personal lives.
For example
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, a professional subjected to sleeplessness has lower efficiency in decision-making than an employee with abundant sleep. In worse cases, sleepless driving can cause severe road accidents.
According to
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 statistical data, more than half of road accidents result from sleeping drivers.
Furthermore
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, many workplace accidents from machines have occurred in the industrial area as workers have problems with
insomnia
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. There are a lot of effective solutions to tackle the above-mentioned issues relating to
insomnia
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.
Firstly
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, coffee is widely accepted to be a promising method to prevent sleepiness.
According to
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 a paper published in prestigious journals, the main substance in coffee is caffeine, which helps
people
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 stay awake and be more active.
Moreover
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, energy drinks are one of the methods for preventing insufficient sleep, which can boost your energy and mind because they contain a high amount of sugar.
Finally
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, the government may take the initiative to create mass awareness among the
people
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 about the negative consequences of having
insomnia
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. In conclusion, proper sleeping habits are the most important factor for a human's
wellbeing
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well-being
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. Without having enough sleep,
people
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 usually feel exhausted and powerless.
Therefore
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, the causes and solutions to overcoming it need to be seriously addressed in the future.
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence and follow with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Develop your arguments thoroughly with specific examples and explanations. Try to illustrate each point with clear evidence or scenarios.
task achievement
Make sure you address all parts of the task prompt. Consider discussing both the causes and effects of the issue, and provide a balanced set of solutions.
task achievement
Work on the depth and complexity of your ideas. Aim to discuss reasons and solutions in detail, exploring the implications and considering various perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs together, but ensure they are used accurately and enhance the readability of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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