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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There are many attractive
places
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 around the world, so many people travel to see these
places
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 enjoy their significant sights, and try to keep good memories of these
places
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.
However
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, not all the effects of
this
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 innovation have been positive,
although
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, visiting different
places
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 has brought many benefits as well. There are some drawbacks to travelling to different countries for tourism. A common criticism of travelling abroad is that travelling in groups will cause damage to the environment ,
consequently
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, tourism will have a bad effect on wildlife and animals.
For instance
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, recently, some countries started cutting trees and forests and replacing them with hotels and skyscrapers,
also
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 they have built many restaurants and cafes on beaches, which will lead to an environmental disaster in the end. Another disadvantage is that most attractive cities become a direction for tourists,
although
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, they become so crowded, so it is hard for locals to live there Despite these negatives, there are some advantages as well. One
such
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 advantage is that the local economy will improve regarding to large number of tourists who are visiting
this
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 city.
In other words
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, when many tourists visit a place they can improve their economy by providing jobs, and it is good for business
also
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,
such
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 as restaurants, hotels, and taxis. Another positive aspect can be is that when you visit a new place you will learn some language from them, and you will try to adapt to their culture and traditions. In conclusion,
while
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 there are some drawbacks to travelling to new
places
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, there are many benefits as well.

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conclusion
Consider expanding the conclusion slightly to provide a more comprehensive summary of the main points discussed.
examples
When discussing disadvantages, provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
idea development
Try to develop each main idea further to enhance the depth of your argument.
introduction
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion effectively.
structure
The essay is very well-structured with a logical progression of ideas.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • boost local economies
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • environmental degradation
  • deforestation
  • overcrowding
  • commodification
  • authentic cultural experiences
  • revenue
  • perspective
  • globalization
  • sustainable tourism
  • heritage sites
  • local customs
  • appreciation of diversity
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