Some people think that children today are not as fit and healthy as in the past. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The period when
children
were physically fitter and mentally agile has gone, and in Use synonyms
this
technological era, their deteriorating health is becoming a grave issue of concern. I completely endorse the statement for several reasons, which will be elucidated in the upcoming segments.
The first and foremost reason for unhealthiness among Linking Words
children
is technological gizmos. To be more precise, these days offspring are more inclined to use mobile phones, computers, laptops, and so on. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
children
have no interest in outdoor activities. Use synonyms
As a result
, they become couch potatoes and gain weight, which Linking Words
also
reduces the stamina among them. Linking Words
According to
the World Health Organization, Linking Words
for instance
, the ratio of unhealthy juveniles has increased by 57% ever since the usage of electronic gadgets was introduced.
Linking Words
Likewise
, the availability and accessibility of fast Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
also
pave the way to force young people to suffer from diseases like obesity, heart attack, and many more at an early age. By Linking Words
this
, I mean that one can have an easy approach towards junk foods that are not health-oriented. Linking Words
Thus
, unhygienic Linking Words
food
affects them badly. Not only Use synonyms
this
but Linking Words
also
school Linking Words
children
are bound to study for long hours at schools followed by tuition. In Use synonyms
this
case, they lack time to do physical activities and it causes a great study burden among them.
Linking Words
However
, some people believe that parents are very concerned about their Linking Words
children
's health and put efforts into improving their erratic schedules and Use synonyms
food
habits. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, guardians themselves are engaged in graveyard shifts and have a lack of time to guide their Linking Words
children
, and they can't supervise their daily routine which poses a great threat to young one's lifestyles.
To recapitulate, I vehemently vouch that there is a myriad of reasons which pose a great threat to the lifestyle of Use synonyms
children
, in terms of technological gadgets, hectic schedule, unawareness of serious consequences of indoor activities, junk Use synonyms
food
, and so on.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay effectively responds to the task prompt and presents a clear stance. However, to enhance your task achievement score, make sure to elaborate more deeply on your examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more compelling and robust.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to create more seamless transitions between your ideas. This can help your essay flow more smoothly and logically.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reinforces your stance, which is excellent for task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an effective introduction and conclusion. This enhances the readability and coherence of your writing.
task achievement
You provide relevant specific examples to support your points, such as the World Health Organization statistic. This strengthens the persuasiveness of your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example