IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The development of humanity over the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 few hundred years has had a fatal impact on the lives of plants and animals. People have two different opinions about
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

: some believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 process cannot be reversed,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others think it is possible to bring things back to normal. Human life and the growth of heavy industry lead to the
dying
Replace the word
death

The word dying doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 of many animal and plant species around the world every year. Especially in the oil sector, factories that process oil release a lot of carbon dioxide into the air, which causes the "greenhouse effect." Seas and oceans get polluted, which
ruin
Correct subject-verb agreement
ruins

It seems that the verb ruin does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
 the natural life cycle of plants and animals. Farms that raise livestock for the meat industry and deforestation worldwide
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 harm nature. In the past few decades, scientists have created ideas and developed projects for re-greening the Earth and using renewable energy sources. Recently, many car manufacturers have started making fully electric cars, which should reduce oil use,
finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 lowering CO2 emissions. Large areas of land are being replanted with trees to strengthen the ground and increase oxygen levels in the air. Eco-friendly power plants are being built to produce electricity using wind, ocean waves, and geothermal energy. In my opinion, people have a great chance to restore nature and animal numbers to their original state if they start using the planet's resources wisely and switch to eco-friendly energy sources.

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task achievement
Ensure to address both views in a more balanced manner to meet the IELTS task requirement comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking phrases to provide fluidity and cohesion between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Good use of examples to emphasize the problems and solutions in relation to environmental impact.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion and provide a well-rounded perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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