People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?

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A positive attitude is often touted as a crucial element in achieving personal success and success.
While
I agree to a considerable extent that maintaining an optimistic viewpoint can indeed lead to self-improvement, it is important to recognize that it is not the sole factor in becoming a better person. There are several dimensions to
this
argument, encompassing psychological, social, and practical perspectives.
Firstly
, from a psychological standpoint, a positive action can significantly impact one's mental health and well-being. Optimistic thinking has been linked to reduced stress levels, better coping mechanisms, and
overall
happiness. When a person
focuses
Correct subject-verb agreement
focus
show examples
on the positive aspects of their lives, they are more likely to feel motivated and resilient in the face of challenges. Their face can foster a sense of empowerment and confidence, enabling people to take proactive steps towards self-improvement.
Moreover
, an optimistic approach can enhance interpersonal relationships. People who maintain a hopeful vision are often more approachable, empathetic, and supportive. These qualities can strengthen social bonds and create a supportive network, which is essential for personal improvement. Positive human beings are
also
more likely to inspire and uplift others, contributing to a more harmonious and cooperative environment.
However
, it is crucial to acknowledge that a positive notion alone is not sufficient for personal development. Practical actions and a commitment to self-discipline are equally important.
For instance
, setting realistic goals, continuously learning, and seeking constructive feedback are essential components of prosperity. Without these practical efforts, a positive reaction may lead to complacency or unrealistic expectations.
Furthermore
, it is important to recognize the role of external factors in personal development. Socioeconomic conditions, access to education, and social support systems can significantly influence one's ability to improve. A positive demeanour can help an entity navigate these challenges, but it cannot entirely overcome systemic barriers.
Therefore
,
while
optimism is a valuable tool, it must be complemented by external support and opportunities. In conclusion, a positive view is a powerful catalyst for personal advancement, contributing to better mental health, stronger relationships, and increased motivation.
However
, it is not a panacea. Practical efforts and external support are equally vital in the journey towards becoming a better person. Balancing an optimistic vision with concrete actions and recognizing the influence of external factors can lead to a more holistic approach to self-improvement.
Submitted by ghiffari.awliya on

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to maintain clear and consistent pronoun references throughout your essay. For example, 'Their face can foster...' should be corrected to something along the lines of 'This outlook can foster...' to ensure clarity.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Your essay effectively covers a range of perspectives, such as psychological, social, and practical aspects, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly present your main argument and summary, respectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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