Many countries thought children have to do homework in their free time while others say children should do more outdoor activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that some say that young should play sports in their spare

time

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while

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others say that they should do their

homework

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This

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essay totally argues with the second statement, because by doing

homework

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child will have knowledge and with learning, he can find the profession that he really wants.

Firstly

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, doing

homework

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in your free

time

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can give kids a lot of important things. Doing

homework

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and searching

unknown

Change preposition

for unknown

show examples

stuff can improve a child's intelligence and with that, he will be more advanced than some of his peers who play football at that

time

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For example

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, my brother Arman was the type of person who studied every their free

time

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and a few days ago he got an invitation from Harvard and I can say that he was

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show examples

his way to success.

Secondly

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, by learning something every day, people can find their place in society. Some children

also

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find their favourite profession and definitely can suggest people learn something in their spare

time

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, but not running after the ball

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apply

show examples

if they do not want to be professional sportsmen.

For instance

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, my sister every

time

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she found the

time

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, her doing was playing volleyball with her friends and it was not because she loved

this

Linking Words

sport. It is

due to

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her friends ever calling her to leave home to play valleyball and now she regrets

this

Linking Words

and gives more attention to lessons. In conclusion, some people say that minors must play outside in their leisure

time

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while

Linking Words

others say that it will be better for them to do some lessons and I think the second one will be good for youth to know more information and they can find their future job with learning different things.

KawasakiWed Aug 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed. The essay could benefit from more detailed examples and further explanation of points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main argument and the conclusion effectively summarizes key points. Consider elaborating more in the middle paragraphs to develop ideas thoroughly.

task achievement

Make an effort to include more specific details and evidence to support your main points. Providing varied examples can strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Work on expanding the discussion with more comprehensive ideas and explanations. Avoid any repetitive statements and make sure each point adds value to your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay introduces and concludes the argument effectively, providing a clear opinion.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as those regarding the writer's siblings, are relevant and help illustrate the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Many countries thought children have to do homework in their free time while others say children should do more outdoor activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel.Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people think that to be successful in sports, physical strength is the most important factor. Others, however, think that it is more important to be mentally strong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

All inventions and discoveries like the discovery of fire and electricity have impacts on our lives so much so that people can no longer live without them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of free admission outweigh the disadvantages?