[Переслано от Асадбек] In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

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It is believed by many cultures that
children
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can accomplish anything if they believe and work hard.
While
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there are benefits to that belief, there are
also
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drawbacks. Every child would expect their
parents
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’ unconditional support and love to push them to achieve their goals. That being said, many
parents
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persuade their
children
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to achieve anything they want without question.
Parents
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advocating for their
children
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also
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increase their determination, abilities, and confidence.
Consequently
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, ambition and hard work may lead to their goals.
For instance
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, the world-famous football player Messi’s mother was the only one who pushed Messi to achieve his goals. No one believed him except his family, and that’s what made him think of himself.
However
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,
children
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’s imaginations are extremely powerful and unlimited at their age since they are still in the process of differentiating between reality and the fantasy world.
Therefore
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, it could be hard for them to understand what they can realistically achieve in their life.
This
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matter may create unrealistic expectations,
such
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as inadequate
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children
Correct quantifier usage
number of children
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willing to become a football player or
singer
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singers
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or even consider becoming an astronaut easily.
Although
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they are not successful enough or their capacity is limited
with
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by
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something else,
children
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would expect
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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unconditional support from their
parents
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since they think they could be successful in anything they want.
Additionally
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, their failures and hard work with unrealistic expectations could demotivate them, disappoint them, and ruin their self-esteem and confidence. In conclusion, society tells
children
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they can be successful at anything they want, and
this
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is healthy to some extent.
Children
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should be taught to differentiate between realistic and unrealistic by their
parents
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so there will not be detrimental results in the future.

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Task Achievement
While you have a good introduction and conclusion, refining your thesis statement to directly address the advantages and disadvantages could strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly connects to the main point you are making, which will improve the flow of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more examples or elaborating on the potential downsides to balance the essay’s argumentation further, as this could enhance clarity and depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint and balances advantages and disadvantages effectively, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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